What to Buy the Regency Gentleman for Christmas

Sherrie6-10-08sm Sherrie, here.  A few years ago, just for fun, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek piece called "What to Buy the Regency Gentleman for Christmas."  One of the Wenches suggested I use it for my post today, and that's what I've done.  Originally, I was going to post pictures of the four snowstorms we had up here in western Washington State just before Christmas, so I've decided to add the pictures at the end of this post, just to give you something pretty to look at. 

Without further ado, here is my list.  In the spirit of fun, I invite you to add to it!  Or better yet, come up with your own suggestions for what to buy the Regency lady for Christmas! *g*

WHAT TO BUY THE REGENCY GENTLEMAN FOR CHRISTMAS

1. SNUFFBOX.  A gentleman can never have too many snuffboxes.  He should have one to go with each suit of clothes.  They come in every shape, color, and size, from tiny little ones mounted on a ring, to those as large as a trunk. Avoid the ring-mounted snuff box.  It is always so disconcerting when the lid falls into the tureen of hare’s foot and gizzard soup during a state dinner, spilling tobacco all over the dessert and into the soup.  Also to be avoided are the trunk-sized snuffboxes, because if you purchase one of them, you will be required to purchase the two footmen that come with it, so as to carry it around for the hero. Even if your Regency hero deplores snuff, he MUST have a snuffbox, if for no other reason than to carry his sardonic smile in, for emergency purposes.

2. HANDKERCHIEFS.  Monogrammed are the best.  Lace-edged work well for formal events.  They are excellent for dusting snuff from one’s coat sleeve and for binding up wounds from a duel.  The lace ones work particularly well when handed to a weeping heroine.

3. FOBS and SEALS.  The more the better.  They should be large and ostentatious.  Many a well-dressed Regency gentleman’s approach is announced even before he comes in sight by the clanking of all his fobs and seals.  Fobs and seals are an excellent aid in teaching the gentleman to walk like a cat so as to avoid all that racket, particularly as he sneaks up on Miss Mansfield, out walking alone in the garden

4. HUNTER.  Preferably black, preferably a stallion.  Give your Regency gentleman a hunter and he will smile sardonically and love you for life.  The hunter must be able to gallop for hours on end without rest.  He will be required to do this often during his lifetime, as Regency gentlemen have a penchant for dashing hither and yon to rescue heroines just in the nick of time.  The hunter must have an extremely long back in order to accommodate not only the hero, but also the heroine, who will ride up front, cradled in the hero’s manly arms.

5. DUELING PISTOLS.  Mantons are the best, not only for their fine workmanship, but for the unique way they cause the hero’s arm to whip straight up just as he pulls the trigger, thus causing him to delope, which is a fine and honorable thing for any Regency gentleman to do, whether he meant to or not.

6. BOOTS.  When buying Hessians, get the ones that come with extra tassels in different colors so that the hero can coordinate his tassels with his outfits or the outfit of his ladylove.  For riding boots, you will be foolish to scrimp.  The best boots are from Hoby, and each pair of boots comes with a wizened little man who possesses a jealously guarded recipe for boot blacking.

7. DIAMOND and PEARL NECKLACE and MATCHING EARBOBS.  Excellent to have on hand for those times when he gives his mistress her congee and needs a parting guilt gift.

8. HAND MIRROR.  Since Regency heroes must learn how to scowl and frown and sneer in a manly way, it is nice to give your man a portable mirror so that he can practice his facial expressions.

9. ELEGANT CANE WITH CHERRY FLAVORED HANDLE.  At one time or another all Regency beaux go through a phase where they carry walking sticks and suck on the handles.  If you are feeling especially extravagant, there are sticks with a hidden flask for spirits.  The very top-of-the-line walking stick comes with little compartments for storing picnic food, a red checkered tablecloth, and eating utensils, and is equipped with a retractable wheel at the bottom for ease of transport, as these canes are far too heavy to actually use as a walking stick.

10. HOUSE SLIPPERS.  The most popular are the ones with an Egyptian motif.  Especially useful for the hero who wants to learn how to walk like an Egyptian.

11. GLOVES.  There are two kinds of gloves–regular and dueling.  Regular gloves are made of Rich Corinthian Leather and sold exclusively by Ricardo Montalban.  The dueling glove is not meant to be worn.  It is made of lightweight linen and is ceremonial only.  They are used by the hero to slap the villain in the face, and top-end dueling gloves come with red power embedded in the palm so that they leave a nice red hand-shaped mark on the villain’s face.

12. CURLY-BRIMMED BEAVER. These are falling out of fashion.  The beavers simply will not stay on the hero’s head, and they have been known to squirt water in the eyes of the heroine whenever the hero attempts to kiss her.  Curly-brimmed beavers also have an alarming tendency to slap their broad, flat tails against the back of the hero’s head when he does something stupid.

Now it's your turn. Please feel free to add to the list, or start a list for the Regency lady. *g*

Pictures in order of appearance. Click on image for larger view.
1. Douglas fir in paddock
2. My pink and purple mailbox stand
3. Lacy alders in pasture
4. Douglas fir in pasture
5. Apple tree in paddock (turquoise hue due to picture taken in low light at dawn)
6. Baby douglas fir in paddock
7. Douglas fir in paddock
8. My back yard

Snow12-21-08b-sm  Snow12-21-08c-sm  Snow12-22-08L-sm   Snow12-21-08h-sm  Snow12-22-08a-sm  Snow12-24-08a-sm  Snow12-24-08c-sm  Snow12-18-08aSm

80 thoughts on “What to Buy the Regency Gentleman for Christmas”

  1. You forgot to include the sword cane, Sherrie! The better for the hero to defend himself from those pesky Cockney thugs some mysterious person has hired to do him in as he walks along a deserted London street after midnight.

    Reply
  2. You forgot to include the sword cane, Sherrie! The better for the hero to defend himself from those pesky Cockney thugs some mysterious person has hired to do him in as he walks along a deserted London street after midnight.

    Reply
  3. You forgot to include the sword cane, Sherrie! The better for the hero to defend himself from those pesky Cockney thugs some mysterious person has hired to do him in as he walks along a deserted London street after midnight.

    Reply
  4. You forgot to include the sword cane, Sherrie! The better for the hero to defend himself from those pesky Cockney thugs some mysterious person has hired to do him in as he walks along a deserted London street after midnight.

    Reply
  5. You forgot to include the sword cane, Sherrie! The better for the hero to defend himself from those pesky Cockney thugs some mysterious person has hired to do him in as he walks along a deserted London street after midnight.

    Reply
  6. Loved them all Sherrie as for what to give a Lady perhaps a small Ladies pistol to keep in her reticule in case the Hero is a bit late arriving to save her not that she would shoot it just aim while awaiting the Hero to come on the Hunter and save her.
    I love the pictures that is something I will never see living in Australia
    Have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  7. Loved them all Sherrie as for what to give a Lady perhaps a small Ladies pistol to keep in her reticule in case the Hero is a bit late arriving to save her not that she would shoot it just aim while awaiting the Hero to come on the Hunter and save her.
    I love the pictures that is something I will never see living in Australia
    Have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  8. Loved them all Sherrie as for what to give a Lady perhaps a small Ladies pistol to keep in her reticule in case the Hero is a bit late arriving to save her not that she would shoot it just aim while awaiting the Hero to come on the Hunter and save her.
    I love the pictures that is something I will never see living in Australia
    Have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  9. Loved them all Sherrie as for what to give a Lady perhaps a small Ladies pistol to keep in her reticule in case the Hero is a bit late arriving to save her not that she would shoot it just aim while awaiting the Hero to come on the Hunter and save her.
    I love the pictures that is something I will never see living in Australia
    Have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  10. Loved them all Sherrie as for what to give a Lady perhaps a small Ladies pistol to keep in her reticule in case the Hero is a bit late arriving to save her not that she would shoot it just aim while awaiting the Hero to come on the Hunter and save her.
    I love the pictures that is something I will never see living in Australia
    Have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  11. Excellent list!
    Maybe add a few cravets…preferably with lots of lace.
    Looks nippy in your stretch of the woods….I’ll take Southern California…even though we’ve had a fire in the fireplace all morning…cloudy and misty here.

    Reply
  12. Excellent list!
    Maybe add a few cravets…preferably with lots of lace.
    Looks nippy in your stretch of the woods….I’ll take Southern California…even though we’ve had a fire in the fireplace all morning…cloudy and misty here.

    Reply
  13. Excellent list!
    Maybe add a few cravets…preferably with lots of lace.
    Looks nippy in your stretch of the woods….I’ll take Southern California…even though we’ve had a fire in the fireplace all morning…cloudy and misty here.

    Reply
  14. Excellent list!
    Maybe add a few cravets…preferably with lots of lace.
    Looks nippy in your stretch of the woods….I’ll take Southern California…even though we’ve had a fire in the fireplace all morning…cloudy and misty here.

    Reply
  15. Excellent list!
    Maybe add a few cravets…preferably with lots of lace.
    Looks nippy in your stretch of the woods….I’ll take Southern California…even though we’ve had a fire in the fireplace all morning…cloudy and misty here.

    Reply
  16. –Joanna, a sword cane! Of course! Perfect for the dashing Regency gentleman.
    –Helen, a pistol for the Regency heroine would be excellent, as she would most certainly need shooting lessons from the hero. (BTW, Anne G. has been complaining about not having snow in Australia, and I offered to send her all she wanted!)

    Reply
  17. –Joanna, a sword cane! Of course! Perfect for the dashing Regency gentleman.
    –Helen, a pistol for the Regency heroine would be excellent, as she would most certainly need shooting lessons from the hero. (BTW, Anne G. has been complaining about not having snow in Australia, and I offered to send her all she wanted!)

    Reply
  18. –Joanna, a sword cane! Of course! Perfect for the dashing Regency gentleman.
    –Helen, a pistol for the Regency heroine would be excellent, as she would most certainly need shooting lessons from the hero. (BTW, Anne G. has been complaining about not having snow in Australia, and I offered to send her all she wanted!)

    Reply
  19. –Joanna, a sword cane! Of course! Perfect for the dashing Regency gentleman.
    –Helen, a pistol for the Regency heroine would be excellent, as she would most certainly need shooting lessons from the hero. (BTW, Anne G. has been complaining about not having snow in Australia, and I offered to send her all she wanted!)

    Reply
  20. –Joanna, a sword cane! Of course! Perfect for the dashing Regency gentleman.
    –Helen, a pistol for the Regency heroine would be excellent, as she would most certainly need shooting lessons from the hero. (BTW, Anne G. has been complaining about not having snow in Australia, and I offered to send her all she wanted!)

    Reply
  21. –Louis, I love a man in lace, as long as it’s not on his undies! Your fireplace sounds divine right now–it’s 26 degrees outside.
    –RubyD, I’m in complete agreement with you. Snow is pretty, as long as it doesn’t hang around. I like it just long enough for some frolicking and picture-taking, and then it can melt and go away, thank you very much.

    Reply
  22. –Louis, I love a man in lace, as long as it’s not on his undies! Your fireplace sounds divine right now–it’s 26 degrees outside.
    –RubyD, I’m in complete agreement with you. Snow is pretty, as long as it doesn’t hang around. I like it just long enough for some frolicking and picture-taking, and then it can melt and go away, thank you very much.

    Reply
  23. –Louis, I love a man in lace, as long as it’s not on his undies! Your fireplace sounds divine right now–it’s 26 degrees outside.
    –RubyD, I’m in complete agreement with you. Snow is pretty, as long as it doesn’t hang around. I like it just long enough for some frolicking and picture-taking, and then it can melt and go away, thank you very much.

    Reply
  24. –Louis, I love a man in lace, as long as it’s not on his undies! Your fireplace sounds divine right now–it’s 26 degrees outside.
    –RubyD, I’m in complete agreement with you. Snow is pretty, as long as it doesn’t hang around. I like it just long enough for some frolicking and picture-taking, and then it can melt and go away, thank you very much.

    Reply
  25. –Louis, I love a man in lace, as long as it’s not on his undies! Your fireplace sounds divine right now–it’s 26 degrees outside.
    –RubyD, I’m in complete agreement with you. Snow is pretty, as long as it doesn’t hang around. I like it just long enough for some frolicking and picture-taking, and then it can melt and go away, thank you very much.

    Reply
  26. A diamond stick-pin for his cravat. If we’re talking snuff-boxes, then let’s also discuss heeled red shoes, lorgnette, and fans (the lacier the better). Also masses of fine Belgian lace that can be incorporated into shirt sleeves and all manner of decoration on person; tight knee breeches of lace wouldn’t be amiss. 🙂

    Reply
  27. A diamond stick-pin for his cravat. If we’re talking snuff-boxes, then let’s also discuss heeled red shoes, lorgnette, and fans (the lacier the better). Also masses of fine Belgian lace that can be incorporated into shirt sleeves and all manner of decoration on person; tight knee breeches of lace wouldn’t be amiss. 🙂

    Reply
  28. A diamond stick-pin for his cravat. If we’re talking snuff-boxes, then let’s also discuss heeled red shoes, lorgnette, and fans (the lacier the better). Also masses of fine Belgian lace that can be incorporated into shirt sleeves and all manner of decoration on person; tight knee breeches of lace wouldn’t be amiss. 🙂

    Reply
  29. A diamond stick-pin for his cravat. If we’re talking snuff-boxes, then let’s also discuss heeled red shoes, lorgnette, and fans (the lacier the better). Also masses of fine Belgian lace that can be incorporated into shirt sleeves and all manner of decoration on person; tight knee breeches of lace wouldn’t be amiss. 🙂

    Reply
  30. A diamond stick-pin for his cravat. If we’re talking snuff-boxes, then let’s also discuss heeled red shoes, lorgnette, and fans (the lacier the better). Also masses of fine Belgian lace that can be incorporated into shirt sleeves and all manner of decoration on person; tight knee breeches of lace wouldn’t be amiss. 🙂

    Reply
  31. An essential gift for a Regency gentleman: a book of poetry, preferably Byron, to quote romantically to his lady love. Or maybe to give to her so they can read it together (although maybe not Byron in that case, unless she doesn’t have overvigilant parents or guardians to protect her from the type of rake who would give a young lady Byron). Fun list, Sherrie!

    Reply
  32. An essential gift for a Regency gentleman: a book of poetry, preferably Byron, to quote romantically to his lady love. Or maybe to give to her so they can read it together (although maybe not Byron in that case, unless she doesn’t have overvigilant parents or guardians to protect her from the type of rake who would give a young lady Byron). Fun list, Sherrie!

    Reply
  33. An essential gift for a Regency gentleman: a book of poetry, preferably Byron, to quote romantically to his lady love. Or maybe to give to her so they can read it together (although maybe not Byron in that case, unless she doesn’t have overvigilant parents or guardians to protect her from the type of rake who would give a young lady Byron). Fun list, Sherrie!

    Reply
  34. An essential gift for a Regency gentleman: a book of poetry, preferably Byron, to quote romantically to his lady love. Or maybe to give to her so they can read it together (although maybe not Byron in that case, unless she doesn’t have overvigilant parents or guardians to protect her from the type of rake who would give a young lady Byron). Fun list, Sherrie!

    Reply
  35. An essential gift for a Regency gentleman: a book of poetry, preferably Byron, to quote romantically to his lady love. Or maybe to give to her so they can read it together (although maybe not Byron in that case, unless she doesn’t have overvigilant parents or guardians to protect her from the type of rake who would give a young lady Byron). Fun list, Sherrie!

    Reply
  36. Sherrie, my dear, you left off the whip! No gentleman would be without a whip, surely — whether it’s the riding crop (for snapping impatiently against his boots when kept waiting) or the whip that removes a fly from his horses ear while speeding along at 15 mph in his curricle.
    Love those photos — a magical winter landscape and beautiful photography.

    Reply
  37. Sherrie, my dear, you left off the whip! No gentleman would be without a whip, surely — whether it’s the riding crop (for snapping impatiently against his boots when kept waiting) or the whip that removes a fly from his horses ear while speeding along at 15 mph in his curricle.
    Love those photos — a magical winter landscape and beautiful photography.

    Reply
  38. Sherrie, my dear, you left off the whip! No gentleman would be without a whip, surely — whether it’s the riding crop (for snapping impatiently against his boots when kept waiting) or the whip that removes a fly from his horses ear while speeding along at 15 mph in his curricle.
    Love those photos — a magical winter landscape and beautiful photography.

    Reply
  39. Sherrie, my dear, you left off the whip! No gentleman would be without a whip, surely — whether it’s the riding crop (for snapping impatiently against his boots when kept waiting) or the whip that removes a fly from his horses ear while speeding along at 15 mph in his curricle.
    Love those photos — a magical winter landscape and beautiful photography.

    Reply
  40. Sherrie, my dear, you left off the whip! No gentleman would be without a whip, surely — whether it’s the riding crop (for snapping impatiently against his boots when kept waiting) or the whip that removes a fly from his horses ear while speeding along at 15 mph in his curricle.
    Love those photos — a magical winter landscape and beautiful photography.

    Reply
  41. A whip! Of course, Anne, how could I have forgotten!
    BTW, Anne, last night I made your wonderfully easy custard/coconut pie recipe and it was fabulous! I’m a big fan of custards, so this one goes in my keeper file.

    Reply
  42. A whip! Of course, Anne, how could I have forgotten!
    BTW, Anne, last night I made your wonderfully easy custard/coconut pie recipe and it was fabulous! I’m a big fan of custards, so this one goes in my keeper file.

    Reply
  43. A whip! Of course, Anne, how could I have forgotten!
    BTW, Anne, last night I made your wonderfully easy custard/coconut pie recipe and it was fabulous! I’m a big fan of custards, so this one goes in my keeper file.

    Reply
  44. A whip! Of course, Anne, how could I have forgotten!
    BTW, Anne, last night I made your wonderfully easy custard/coconut pie recipe and it was fabulous! I’m a big fan of custards, so this one goes in my keeper file.

    Reply
  45. A whip! Of course, Anne, how could I have forgotten!
    BTW, Anne, last night I made your wonderfully easy custard/coconut pie recipe and it was fabulous! I’m a big fan of custards, so this one goes in my keeper file.

    Reply
  46. Oh, a banjan, if you please. Of silk, of course, so that it can fall loose just enough to give the heroine a scandalizing, tantalizing glimpse of bare, muscled chest when she accidentally stumbles into his room at midnight! 😉

    Reply
  47. Oh, a banjan, if you please. Of silk, of course, so that it can fall loose just enough to give the heroine a scandalizing, tantalizing glimpse of bare, muscled chest when she accidentally stumbles into his room at midnight! 😉

    Reply
  48. Oh, a banjan, if you please. Of silk, of course, so that it can fall loose just enough to give the heroine a scandalizing, tantalizing glimpse of bare, muscled chest when she accidentally stumbles into his room at midnight! 😉

    Reply
  49. Oh, a banjan, if you please. Of silk, of course, so that it can fall loose just enough to give the heroine a scandalizing, tantalizing glimpse of bare, muscled chest when she accidentally stumbles into his room at midnight! 😉

    Reply
  50. Oh, a banjan, if you please. Of silk, of course, so that it can fall loose just enough to give the heroine a scandalizing, tantalizing glimpse of bare, muscled chest when she accidentally stumbles into his room at midnight! 😉

    Reply
  51. What? No quizzing glass? How else could the near-sighted Duke see the ragamuffin spinster baronet’s daughter and look her up and down while commenting on her erstwhile appearance?

    Reply
  52. What? No quizzing glass? How else could the near-sighted Duke see the ragamuffin spinster baronet’s daughter and look her up and down while commenting on her erstwhile appearance?

    Reply
  53. What? No quizzing glass? How else could the near-sighted Duke see the ragamuffin spinster baronet’s daughter and look her up and down while commenting on her erstwhile appearance?

    Reply
  54. What? No quizzing glass? How else could the near-sighted Duke see the ragamuffin spinster baronet’s daughter and look her up and down while commenting on her erstwhile appearance?

    Reply
  55. What? No quizzing glass? How else could the near-sighted Duke see the ragamuffin spinster baronet’s daughter and look her up and down while commenting on her erstwhile appearance?

    Reply

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