Susanna here. My elder son is moving in a few days, and that has me grateful that he lives in modern times, when he can freely move across an ocean to another country without having to navigate the complex social etiquette involved in introductions that our ancestors were bound by.
In another age, we’d have been busily rounding up letters of introduction he could carry over with him.
I’ve come across countless examples of these in my years of doing research for my novels, including including the one Admiral Thomas Gordon wrote in March, 1724 to General Dillon at Paris on behalf of a good friend who was leaving St. Petersburg, Russia, in which Gordon took “the liberty to recommend him to your favor the bearer hereof Capt. William Hay…If you can give him any assistance in your parts it will be agreeable to a great many of your friends, he is a gentleman of much honore and a great deall of worth and what friendship you show him you will have no occasion to be ashamed of…”
For a researcher like myself, these letters can be a treasure trove of details. That one by Gordon, for example, also told me Captain Hay had “serv’d his Imperial Majesty of Russia six years with much reputation, and…advanc’d the be the first Captaine of the fleet” and that Gordon himself had been in Paris “in the year 1717” where he’d been treated well by General Dillon (a man of influence, at the time, in the shadow court of the exiled Jacobite King James VIII).
But for “the bearer” who had to procure and carry them, letters of introduction must have been cumbersome, to say nothing of the fine dance of the etiquette involved when you produced them at your destination.
Something of this can be gleaned from the advice of Cassell’s Household Guide, published over a century and a half later, in the late Victorian period, which tells us:
"Letters of introduction are frequently asked of friends to their acquaintances, when a stranger is about to travel abroad, or reside in a new neighbourhood. These letters should always be given into the hands of the person seeking the favour unsealed. By doing so, permission is tacitly given the recipient to read the contents, in order that he may see precisely the light in which he is presented to his future acquaintance. Letters of introduction should be closed when presented. The most usual mode of forwarding such letters to their destination is by enclosing them in an envelope containing a card bearing the name and address of the new corner. If the person; to whom the letter of introduction is addressed desires to honour his correspondent's recommendation, he loses no time in calling at the address indicated, and offering such civilities as may be expected. The most friendly forms of such offers consists in an invitation to dine; which, under ordinary circumstances, should be declined, unless the invitation be accompanied by very forcible reasons. Whether an invitation to dinner be given or not, the visit should be returned within at least three days from the time one has been received, or earlier if possible. The above rules apply equally to ladies."
And there is more, according to the Cassell’s Household Guide:
"On a stranger or a family arriving in a neighbourhood, it is the duty of the elder inhabitants to leave cards. If. the acquaintances thus presenting themselves are desirable, it is usual for the visit to be returned personally, or cards left, within one week. The latter rule is very conducive to good feeling in remote neighbourhoods, where it is now-a-days mostly in force. In the suburbs of large towns a less hospitable reception generally awaits strangers, causing acquaintanceship to be deferred till something is known of the new comers. These opportunities are of frequent occurrence, and need but a little cordiality to become occasions of forming an agreeable society. In proportion to the number of residents who are of the latter way of thinking, suburbs are more or less desirable localities to reside in.
Visitors to large towns, where their acquaintances are necessarily much scattered, usually announce their arrival by simply enclosing their address-cards to any persons whom they may wish to receive. Intimate acquaintances are not expected to wait for similar announcements, but call as soon as they learn the arrival and address of the expected visitor.
In all cases, it is the person who is the new comer that first receives offers of hospitality."
So yes, as quaint as calling cards and visits are, I’m kind of glad we’ve moved beyond that to a more informal age, where neighbours say “hello” the first time that you pass them in the hallway, and don’t wait to find out whether you’re “desirable”.
Besides, I’d never remember which order to do things in!
How about you? Would you have been able to navigate the world of introductions and calling cards, or are you a say-hello-over-the-back-fence type of person?
I doubt that I would have thrived in a past that involved letters of introduction; one reason is that neither names nor faces are my forte. I suspect I’d do best in a world in which we constantly wore nametags! Thanks for a fascinating post, Susanna, and best wishes to your son with his across the ocean move. (My daughter is also across an ocean; we’re in the US, and she’s in South Korea. I’m grateful for the video chat options that exist today.)
I doubt that I would have thrived in a past that involved letters of introduction; one reason is that neither names nor faces are my forte. I suspect I’d do best in a world in which we constantly wore nametags! Thanks for a fascinating post, Susanna, and best wishes to your son with his across the ocean move. (My daughter is also across an ocean; we’re in the US, and she’s in South Korea. I’m grateful for the video chat options that exist today.)
I doubt that I would have thrived in a past that involved letters of introduction; one reason is that neither names nor faces are my forte. I suspect I’d do best in a world in which we constantly wore nametags! Thanks for a fascinating post, Susanna, and best wishes to your son with his across the ocean move. (My daughter is also across an ocean; we’re in the US, and she’s in South Korea. I’m grateful for the video chat options that exist today.)
I doubt that I would have thrived in a past that involved letters of introduction; one reason is that neither names nor faces are my forte. I suspect I’d do best in a world in which we constantly wore nametags! Thanks for a fascinating post, Susanna, and best wishes to your son with his across the ocean move. (My daughter is also across an ocean; we’re in the US, and she’s in South Korea. I’m grateful for the video chat options that exist today.)
I doubt that I would have thrived in a past that involved letters of introduction; one reason is that neither names nor faces are my forte. I suspect I’d do best in a world in which we constantly wore nametags! Thanks for a fascinating post, Susanna, and best wishes to your son with his across the ocean move. (My daughter is also across an ocean; we’re in the US, and she’s in South Korea. I’m grateful for the video chat options that exist today.)
Hi Susanna
That was such an interesting post and I am glad we don’t have to do things like that anymore, I think I would have gotten it all wrong, I love the way things are now say hello and there are emails to make what really has to be done quicker
Have fun
Helen
Hi Susanna
That was such an interesting post and I am glad we don’t have to do things like that anymore, I think I would have gotten it all wrong, I love the way things are now say hello and there are emails to make what really has to be done quicker
Have fun
Helen
Hi Susanna
That was such an interesting post and I am glad we don’t have to do things like that anymore, I think I would have gotten it all wrong, I love the way things are now say hello and there are emails to make what really has to be done quicker
Have fun
Helen
Hi Susanna
That was such an interesting post and I am glad we don’t have to do things like that anymore, I think I would have gotten it all wrong, I love the way things are now say hello and there are emails to make what really has to be done quicker
Have fun
Helen
Hi Susanna
That was such an interesting post and I am glad we don’t have to do things like that anymore, I think I would have gotten it all wrong, I love the way things are now say hello and there are emails to make what really has to be done quicker
Have fun
Helen
If you were the sort of person who had friends who could write letters of introduction to friends of theirs in whatever place you were going, wouldn’t it make life much easier for you? Today, you may be able to say hello to your neighbor, but that doesn’t mean you and that neighbor have anything in common other than proximity. I think it may be harder now to find a new circle of friends than it waste or three hundred years ago.
Of course, none of this applies to the poor, who never had those kinds of connections, though if you were lucky, you had relatives at the end of your journey. If not, and you’re traveling with all your worldly goods in a bundle on your back, it’s scary.
If you were the sort of person who had friends who could write letters of introduction to friends of theirs in whatever place you were going, wouldn’t it make life much easier for you? Today, you may be able to say hello to your neighbor, but that doesn’t mean you and that neighbor have anything in common other than proximity. I think it may be harder now to find a new circle of friends than it waste or three hundred years ago.
Of course, none of this applies to the poor, who never had those kinds of connections, though if you were lucky, you had relatives at the end of your journey. If not, and you’re traveling with all your worldly goods in a bundle on your back, it’s scary.
If you were the sort of person who had friends who could write letters of introduction to friends of theirs in whatever place you were going, wouldn’t it make life much easier for you? Today, you may be able to say hello to your neighbor, but that doesn’t mean you and that neighbor have anything in common other than proximity. I think it may be harder now to find a new circle of friends than it waste or three hundred years ago.
Of course, none of this applies to the poor, who never had those kinds of connections, though if you were lucky, you had relatives at the end of your journey. If not, and you’re traveling with all your worldly goods in a bundle on your back, it’s scary.
If you were the sort of person who had friends who could write letters of introduction to friends of theirs in whatever place you were going, wouldn’t it make life much easier for you? Today, you may be able to say hello to your neighbor, but that doesn’t mean you and that neighbor have anything in common other than proximity. I think it may be harder now to find a new circle of friends than it waste or three hundred years ago.
Of course, none of this applies to the poor, who never had those kinds of connections, though if you were lucky, you had relatives at the end of your journey. If not, and you’re traveling with all your worldly goods in a bundle on your back, it’s scary.
If you were the sort of person who had friends who could write letters of introduction to friends of theirs in whatever place you were going, wouldn’t it make life much easier for you? Today, you may be able to say hello to your neighbor, but that doesn’t mean you and that neighbor have anything in common other than proximity. I think it may be harder now to find a new circle of friends than it waste or three hundred years ago.
Of course, none of this applies to the poor, who never had those kinds of connections, though if you were lucky, you had relatives at the end of your journey. If not, and you’re traveling with all your worldly goods in a bundle on your back, it’s scary.
I am exceedinglly glad we no longer need letters of introduction. Like those who have posted before me, I am sure i wouldn’t get it right!
As to Lillian Merek’s point: If your new home is big enough, you find the group activities you enjoy; such as, book clubs, duck hunters, camera clubs, and radio-controlled modelers. Among such groups you are likely to find people who share enough interests to become your friends. That type of friend finding was less likely to be available in earlier times, but some of those types of gatherings did exist.
I am exceedinglly glad we no longer need letters of introduction. Like those who have posted before me, I am sure i wouldn’t get it right!
As to Lillian Merek’s point: If your new home is big enough, you find the group activities you enjoy; such as, book clubs, duck hunters, camera clubs, and radio-controlled modelers. Among such groups you are likely to find people who share enough interests to become your friends. That type of friend finding was less likely to be available in earlier times, but some of those types of gatherings did exist.
I am exceedinglly glad we no longer need letters of introduction. Like those who have posted before me, I am sure i wouldn’t get it right!
As to Lillian Merek’s point: If your new home is big enough, you find the group activities you enjoy; such as, book clubs, duck hunters, camera clubs, and radio-controlled modelers. Among such groups you are likely to find people who share enough interests to become your friends. That type of friend finding was less likely to be available in earlier times, but some of those types of gatherings did exist.
I am exceedinglly glad we no longer need letters of introduction. Like those who have posted before me, I am sure i wouldn’t get it right!
As to Lillian Merek’s point: If your new home is big enough, you find the group activities you enjoy; such as, book clubs, duck hunters, camera clubs, and radio-controlled modelers. Among such groups you are likely to find people who share enough interests to become your friends. That type of friend finding was less likely to be available in earlier times, but some of those types of gatherings did exist.
I am exceedinglly glad we no longer need letters of introduction. Like those who have posted before me, I am sure i wouldn’t get it right!
As to Lillian Merek’s point: If your new home is big enough, you find the group activities you enjoy; such as, book clubs, duck hunters, camera clubs, and radio-controlled modelers. Among such groups you are likely to find people who share enough interests to become your friends. That type of friend finding was less likely to be available in earlier times, but some of those types of gatherings did exist.
The ettiquette to meet people in times past is so precise and filled with so many rules.
I would make too many mistakes, be considered gauche and end up with others rolling their eyes or looking pitiful when they saw me coming.
In fiction I would marry the reclusive but loving aristocrat who is tired of the usual chits he’s been meeting at every ball and live happily together.
The ettiquette to meet people in times past is so precise and filled with so many rules.
I would make too many mistakes, be considered gauche and end up with others rolling their eyes or looking pitiful when they saw me coming.
In fiction I would marry the reclusive but loving aristocrat who is tired of the usual chits he’s been meeting at every ball and live happily together.
The ettiquette to meet people in times past is so precise and filled with so many rules.
I would make too many mistakes, be considered gauche and end up with others rolling their eyes or looking pitiful when they saw me coming.
In fiction I would marry the reclusive but loving aristocrat who is tired of the usual chits he’s been meeting at every ball and live happily together.
The ettiquette to meet people in times past is so precise and filled with so many rules.
I would make too many mistakes, be considered gauche and end up with others rolling their eyes or looking pitiful when they saw me coming.
In fiction I would marry the reclusive but loving aristocrat who is tired of the usual chits he’s been meeting at every ball and live happily together.
The ettiquette to meet people in times past is so precise and filled with so many rules.
I would make too many mistakes, be considered gauche and end up with others rolling their eyes or looking pitiful when they saw me coming.
In fiction I would marry the reclusive but loving aristocrat who is tired of the usual chits he’s been meeting at every ball and live happily together.
In a way, the 18th century letters of introduction served the function of a social support network for travelers. There might be no regular police force, and a scattershot, volunteer system of relieving the destitute; but a man who traveled with letters of introduction was likely to receive help and patronage in need. Not only could he expect introductions to congenial company, but if he became ill or were robbed, he had a socially acceptable means of asking for assistance, by using his connections.
Sort of like sending your child off to college, and saying, “If you run into trouble, call Aunt Velma.” (Who lives fifty miles from the college in another state.)
In a way, the 18th century letters of introduction served the function of a social support network for travelers. There might be no regular police force, and a scattershot, volunteer system of relieving the destitute; but a man who traveled with letters of introduction was likely to receive help and patronage in need. Not only could he expect introductions to congenial company, but if he became ill or were robbed, he had a socially acceptable means of asking for assistance, by using his connections.
Sort of like sending your child off to college, and saying, “If you run into trouble, call Aunt Velma.” (Who lives fifty miles from the college in another state.)
In a way, the 18th century letters of introduction served the function of a social support network for travelers. There might be no regular police force, and a scattershot, volunteer system of relieving the destitute; but a man who traveled with letters of introduction was likely to receive help and patronage in need. Not only could he expect introductions to congenial company, but if he became ill or were robbed, he had a socially acceptable means of asking for assistance, by using his connections.
Sort of like sending your child off to college, and saying, “If you run into trouble, call Aunt Velma.” (Who lives fifty miles from the college in another state.)
In a way, the 18th century letters of introduction served the function of a social support network for travelers. There might be no regular police force, and a scattershot, volunteer system of relieving the destitute; but a man who traveled with letters of introduction was likely to receive help and patronage in need. Not only could he expect introductions to congenial company, but if he became ill or were robbed, he had a socially acceptable means of asking for assistance, by using his connections.
Sort of like sending your child off to college, and saying, “If you run into trouble, call Aunt Velma.” (Who lives fifty miles from the college in another state.)
In a way, the 18th century letters of introduction served the function of a social support network for travelers. There might be no regular police force, and a scattershot, volunteer system of relieving the destitute; but a man who traveled with letters of introduction was likely to receive help and patronage in need. Not only could he expect introductions to congenial company, but if he became ill or were robbed, he had a socially acceptable means of asking for assistance, by using his connections.
Sort of like sending your child off to college, and saying, “If you run into trouble, call Aunt Velma.” (Who lives fifty miles from the college in another state.)
If I were in that time, I would carry the expected card case with me for introduction purposes. I would meet someone, open my card case, drop my card case, the cards would scatter all over the floor, I would step on most of them trying to pick them up, and the ones picked up would be gritty. Thus, I would not have any acceptable cards to use for an introduction.
So, I am better off living now when cards are not a necessary evil. And people I meet can choose to accept me as I appear to them. I can make up stories about who I am…..ah yes….I just returned from my first expedition to the jungles of middle America seeking pictures of the elusive father/husband creature in his natural habitat wearing his usual sandals and black knee socks.
If I were in that time, I would carry the expected card case with me for introduction purposes. I would meet someone, open my card case, drop my card case, the cards would scatter all over the floor, I would step on most of them trying to pick them up, and the ones picked up would be gritty. Thus, I would not have any acceptable cards to use for an introduction.
So, I am better off living now when cards are not a necessary evil. And people I meet can choose to accept me as I appear to them. I can make up stories about who I am…..ah yes….I just returned from my first expedition to the jungles of middle America seeking pictures of the elusive father/husband creature in his natural habitat wearing his usual sandals and black knee socks.
If I were in that time, I would carry the expected card case with me for introduction purposes. I would meet someone, open my card case, drop my card case, the cards would scatter all over the floor, I would step on most of them trying to pick them up, and the ones picked up would be gritty. Thus, I would not have any acceptable cards to use for an introduction.
So, I am better off living now when cards are not a necessary evil. And people I meet can choose to accept me as I appear to them. I can make up stories about who I am…..ah yes….I just returned from my first expedition to the jungles of middle America seeking pictures of the elusive father/husband creature in his natural habitat wearing his usual sandals and black knee socks.
If I were in that time, I would carry the expected card case with me for introduction purposes. I would meet someone, open my card case, drop my card case, the cards would scatter all over the floor, I would step on most of them trying to pick them up, and the ones picked up would be gritty. Thus, I would not have any acceptable cards to use for an introduction.
So, I am better off living now when cards are not a necessary evil. And people I meet can choose to accept me as I appear to them. I can make up stories about who I am…..ah yes….I just returned from my first expedition to the jungles of middle America seeking pictures of the elusive father/husband creature in his natural habitat wearing his usual sandals and black knee socks.
If I were in that time, I would carry the expected card case with me for introduction purposes. I would meet someone, open my card case, drop my card case, the cards would scatter all over the floor, I would step on most of them trying to pick them up, and the ones picked up would be gritty. Thus, I would not have any acceptable cards to use for an introduction.
So, I am better off living now when cards are not a necessary evil. And people I meet can choose to accept me as I appear to them. I can make up stories about who I am…..ah yes….I just returned from my first expedition to the jungles of middle America seeking pictures of the elusive father/husband creature in his natural habitat wearing his usual sandals and black knee socks.
When we moved to our current neighborhood – a dead end street we met our direct neighbors as we needed answers to come local questions and concerns. But after over 10 years there are several living on my little street whom I have never yet met. They drive past in their car – some wave and I wave back as they pass wondering who that was – they drive into their garage and are not seen again. I have made friends who live elsewhere within driving distance.
On FB and other internet media I do find new friends and I introduce myself with as much as they need to know. Those who share a common background with me I do give them more information so that they can connect easier. (grew up in the same religious cult)
I do not think I would have done well needing letters of introduction. I guess these were mostly for the “upper class”? Would the untitled folk have needed introduction letters? I guess many of them did not move around as much as the titled folk and their job requirements were different. I know our lives are so different now and our methods of communication have changed – it is hard to think how we might have functioned back then with all we know now.
I do admire authors who can be sure not to mess up in their historic writings.
When we moved to our current neighborhood – a dead end street we met our direct neighbors as we needed answers to come local questions and concerns. But after over 10 years there are several living on my little street whom I have never yet met. They drive past in their car – some wave and I wave back as they pass wondering who that was – they drive into their garage and are not seen again. I have made friends who live elsewhere within driving distance.
On FB and other internet media I do find new friends and I introduce myself with as much as they need to know. Those who share a common background with me I do give them more information so that they can connect easier. (grew up in the same religious cult)
I do not think I would have done well needing letters of introduction. I guess these were mostly for the “upper class”? Would the untitled folk have needed introduction letters? I guess many of them did not move around as much as the titled folk and their job requirements were different. I know our lives are so different now and our methods of communication have changed – it is hard to think how we might have functioned back then with all we know now.
I do admire authors who can be sure not to mess up in their historic writings.
When we moved to our current neighborhood – a dead end street we met our direct neighbors as we needed answers to come local questions and concerns. But after over 10 years there are several living on my little street whom I have never yet met. They drive past in their car – some wave and I wave back as they pass wondering who that was – they drive into their garage and are not seen again. I have made friends who live elsewhere within driving distance.
On FB and other internet media I do find new friends and I introduce myself with as much as they need to know. Those who share a common background with me I do give them more information so that they can connect easier. (grew up in the same religious cult)
I do not think I would have done well needing letters of introduction. I guess these were mostly for the “upper class”? Would the untitled folk have needed introduction letters? I guess many of them did not move around as much as the titled folk and their job requirements were different. I know our lives are so different now and our methods of communication have changed – it is hard to think how we might have functioned back then with all we know now.
I do admire authors who can be sure not to mess up in their historic writings.
When we moved to our current neighborhood – a dead end street we met our direct neighbors as we needed answers to come local questions and concerns. But after over 10 years there are several living on my little street whom I have never yet met. They drive past in their car – some wave and I wave back as they pass wondering who that was – they drive into their garage and are not seen again. I have made friends who live elsewhere within driving distance.
On FB and other internet media I do find new friends and I introduce myself with as much as they need to know. Those who share a common background with me I do give them more information so that they can connect easier. (grew up in the same religious cult)
I do not think I would have done well needing letters of introduction. I guess these were mostly for the “upper class”? Would the untitled folk have needed introduction letters? I guess many of them did not move around as much as the titled folk and their job requirements were different. I know our lives are so different now and our methods of communication have changed – it is hard to think how we might have functioned back then with all we know now.
I do admire authors who can be sure not to mess up in their historic writings.
When we moved to our current neighborhood – a dead end street we met our direct neighbors as we needed answers to come local questions and concerns. But after over 10 years there are several living on my little street whom I have never yet met. They drive past in their car – some wave and I wave back as they pass wondering who that was – they drive into their garage and are not seen again. I have made friends who live elsewhere within driving distance.
On FB and other internet media I do find new friends and I introduce myself with as much as they need to know. Those who share a common background with me I do give them more information so that they can connect easier. (grew up in the same religious cult)
I do not think I would have done well needing letters of introduction. I guess these were mostly for the “upper class”? Would the untitled folk have needed introduction letters? I guess many of them did not move around as much as the titled folk and their job requirements were different. I know our lives are so different now and our methods of communication have changed – it is hard to think how we might have functioned back then with all we know now.
I do admire authors who can be sure not to mess up in their historic writings.
I am just puzzled why Cassell’s recommends that the “invitation to dine” should be declined?
I am just puzzled why Cassell’s recommends that the “invitation to dine” should be declined?
I am just puzzled why Cassell’s recommends that the “invitation to dine” should be declined?
I am just puzzled why Cassell’s recommends that the “invitation to dine” should be declined?
I am just puzzled why Cassell’s recommends that the “invitation to dine” should be declined?
@Margot
An untitled person could still be one of the wealthy gentry and/or middling class who might rely on letters of introduction. A poorer, working-class person would likely carry a “recommendation” from their past employer (if they had given satisfactory performance) to help secure future employment. A poor traveler–one without obvious means of support–might carry letters from his parish authorities or a justice of the peace, explaining his place of residence, need for travelling, right to pass through without being detained or returned to his parish, etc. So, no, one poor person probably would never carry a letter introducing him to another one, but even people of the lowest classes might carry letters that aided or recommended them, for various reasons.
@Karin
Because to jump instantly at an invitation would seem too “forward,” as if pushing the acquaintance. If it should be urged or repeated, however, it would then be proper to accept. Russian culture in the Soviet days had (and probably still does have) a similar custom: it is not polite to accept something until the person offering it has asked you for the third time. If you refuse politely twice, you may then politely accept, secure that your host means his request, and is not simply being polite!
A Russian friend once told me she found this a challenge outside of Russia: an American would take one “no” for an answer, and not ask again. So if she was hungry, she had to learn to say so the first time.
@Margot
An untitled person could still be one of the wealthy gentry and/or middling class who might rely on letters of introduction. A poorer, working-class person would likely carry a “recommendation” from their past employer (if they had given satisfactory performance) to help secure future employment. A poor traveler–one without obvious means of support–might carry letters from his parish authorities or a justice of the peace, explaining his place of residence, need for travelling, right to pass through without being detained or returned to his parish, etc. So, no, one poor person probably would never carry a letter introducing him to another one, but even people of the lowest classes might carry letters that aided or recommended them, for various reasons.
@Karin
Because to jump instantly at an invitation would seem too “forward,” as if pushing the acquaintance. If it should be urged or repeated, however, it would then be proper to accept. Russian culture in the Soviet days had (and probably still does have) a similar custom: it is not polite to accept something until the person offering it has asked you for the third time. If you refuse politely twice, you may then politely accept, secure that your host means his request, and is not simply being polite!
A Russian friend once told me she found this a challenge outside of Russia: an American would take one “no” for an answer, and not ask again. So if she was hungry, she had to learn to say so the first time.
@Margot
An untitled person could still be one of the wealthy gentry and/or middling class who might rely on letters of introduction. A poorer, working-class person would likely carry a “recommendation” from their past employer (if they had given satisfactory performance) to help secure future employment. A poor traveler–one without obvious means of support–might carry letters from his parish authorities or a justice of the peace, explaining his place of residence, need for travelling, right to pass through without being detained or returned to his parish, etc. So, no, one poor person probably would never carry a letter introducing him to another one, but even people of the lowest classes might carry letters that aided or recommended them, for various reasons.
@Karin
Because to jump instantly at an invitation would seem too “forward,” as if pushing the acquaintance. If it should be urged or repeated, however, it would then be proper to accept. Russian culture in the Soviet days had (and probably still does have) a similar custom: it is not polite to accept something until the person offering it has asked you for the third time. If you refuse politely twice, you may then politely accept, secure that your host means his request, and is not simply being polite!
A Russian friend once told me she found this a challenge outside of Russia: an American would take one “no” for an answer, and not ask again. So if she was hungry, she had to learn to say so the first time.
@Margot
An untitled person could still be one of the wealthy gentry and/or middling class who might rely on letters of introduction. A poorer, working-class person would likely carry a “recommendation” from their past employer (if they had given satisfactory performance) to help secure future employment. A poor traveler–one without obvious means of support–might carry letters from his parish authorities or a justice of the peace, explaining his place of residence, need for travelling, right to pass through without being detained or returned to his parish, etc. So, no, one poor person probably would never carry a letter introducing him to another one, but even people of the lowest classes might carry letters that aided or recommended them, for various reasons.
@Karin
Because to jump instantly at an invitation would seem too “forward,” as if pushing the acquaintance. If it should be urged or repeated, however, it would then be proper to accept. Russian culture in the Soviet days had (and probably still does have) a similar custom: it is not polite to accept something until the person offering it has asked you for the third time. If you refuse politely twice, you may then politely accept, secure that your host means his request, and is not simply being polite!
A Russian friend once told me she found this a challenge outside of Russia: an American would take one “no” for an answer, and not ask again. So if she was hungry, she had to learn to say so the first time.
@Margot
An untitled person could still be one of the wealthy gentry and/or middling class who might rely on letters of introduction. A poorer, working-class person would likely carry a “recommendation” from their past employer (if they had given satisfactory performance) to help secure future employment. A poor traveler–one without obvious means of support–might carry letters from his parish authorities or a justice of the peace, explaining his place of residence, need for travelling, right to pass through without being detained or returned to his parish, etc. So, no, one poor person probably would never carry a letter introducing him to another one, but even people of the lowest classes might carry letters that aided or recommended them, for various reasons.
@Karin
Because to jump instantly at an invitation would seem too “forward,” as if pushing the acquaintance. If it should be urged or repeated, however, it would then be proper to accept. Russian culture in the Soviet days had (and probably still does have) a similar custom: it is not polite to accept something until the person offering it has asked you for the third time. If you refuse politely twice, you may then politely accept, secure that your host means his request, and is not simply being polite!
A Russian friend once told me she found this a challenge outside of Russia: an American would take one “no” for an answer, and not ask again. So if she was hungry, she had to learn to say so the first time.
I think the issue that makes it so different from today’s culture is that not everyone was “acceptable” to move in the same social circle. To have letters of introduction shows that one is really who he says he is (there was no easy means to verify even the identity of the newcomer); that he is from the same social layer/network; he is connected to someone the recipient is already connected to. I dislike the artificiality of these rules (I’m too modern not to appreciate honesty and spontaneity) but the idea of belonging to a network of conections whose members you can count on for company and assistance just because you are an insider appeals to me.
I think the issue that makes it so different from today’s culture is that not everyone was “acceptable” to move in the same social circle. To have letters of introduction shows that one is really who he says he is (there was no easy means to verify even the identity of the newcomer); that he is from the same social layer/network; he is connected to someone the recipient is already connected to. I dislike the artificiality of these rules (I’m too modern not to appreciate honesty and spontaneity) but the idea of belonging to a network of conections whose members you can count on for company and assistance just because you are an insider appeals to me.
I think the issue that makes it so different from today’s culture is that not everyone was “acceptable” to move in the same social circle. To have letters of introduction shows that one is really who he says he is (there was no easy means to verify even the identity of the newcomer); that he is from the same social layer/network; he is connected to someone the recipient is already connected to. I dislike the artificiality of these rules (I’m too modern not to appreciate honesty and spontaneity) but the idea of belonging to a network of conections whose members you can count on for company and assistance just because you are an insider appeals to me.
I think the issue that makes it so different from today’s culture is that not everyone was “acceptable” to move in the same social circle. To have letters of introduction shows that one is really who he says he is (there was no easy means to verify even the identity of the newcomer); that he is from the same social layer/network; he is connected to someone the recipient is already connected to. I dislike the artificiality of these rules (I’m too modern not to appreciate honesty and spontaneity) but the idea of belonging to a network of conections whose members you can count on for company and assistance just because you are an insider appeals to me.
I think the issue that makes it so different from today’s culture is that not everyone was “acceptable” to move in the same social circle. To have letters of introduction shows that one is really who he says he is (there was no easy means to verify even the identity of the newcomer); that he is from the same social layer/network; he is connected to someone the recipient is already connected to. I dislike the artificiality of these rules (I’m too modern not to appreciate honesty and spontaneity) but the idea of belonging to a network of conections whose members you can count on for company and assistance just because you are an insider appeals to me.
Agnes, you bring up an excellent point. There was–just as you say–no means to verify the identity of the newcomer in many cases. 18th century con games were legion: people pretended to be my lord’s dead cousin’s son, a gentleman’s bastard, a long-lost connection…. There was simply no end to the variety and inventiveness of these impostures, all intended to finagle money or social recognition from someone (but usually money).
So yes–a form of identity card, sometimes forged just as they are now.
Agnes, you bring up an excellent point. There was–just as you say–no means to verify the identity of the newcomer in many cases. 18th century con games were legion: people pretended to be my lord’s dead cousin’s son, a gentleman’s bastard, a long-lost connection…. There was simply no end to the variety and inventiveness of these impostures, all intended to finagle money or social recognition from someone (but usually money).
So yes–a form of identity card, sometimes forged just as they are now.
Agnes, you bring up an excellent point. There was–just as you say–no means to verify the identity of the newcomer in many cases. 18th century con games were legion: people pretended to be my lord’s dead cousin’s son, a gentleman’s bastard, a long-lost connection…. There was simply no end to the variety and inventiveness of these impostures, all intended to finagle money or social recognition from someone (but usually money).
So yes–a form of identity card, sometimes forged just as they are now.
Agnes, you bring up an excellent point. There was–just as you say–no means to verify the identity of the newcomer in many cases. 18th century con games were legion: people pretended to be my lord’s dead cousin’s son, a gentleman’s bastard, a long-lost connection…. There was simply no end to the variety and inventiveness of these impostures, all intended to finagle money or social recognition from someone (but usually money).
So yes–a form of identity card, sometimes forged just as they are now.
Agnes, you bring up an excellent point. There was–just as you say–no means to verify the identity of the newcomer in many cases. 18th century con games were legion: people pretended to be my lord’s dead cousin’s son, a gentleman’s bastard, a long-lost connection…. There was simply no end to the variety and inventiveness of these impostures, all intended to finagle money or social recognition from someone (but usually money).
So yes–a form of identity card, sometimes forged just as they are now.