Home Sweet Home

Regency-1Cara/Andrea here, As I sit here amidst piles of unpacked boxes and stuff to be sorted into its new places, I am breathing a sigh of relief that the ordeal of moving from one home to another is over. I’m usually able to stay on an even keel through all the inevitable storms and squalls that spring up in the course of Life. But this was House 2-7incredible stressful. There is, of course, the physical process of sorting through your belongings and deciding what to keep and what is merely weighing you down. That can be emotional. However, far more emotional is both leaving a familiar place, where all your things have a regular place and surround you with a sense of order and continuity, and finding a new place where you feel you can create a sense of “home.” In some ways, change is good! It challenges you to reassess a lot about yourself things, and see things in a new light. But in some ways it’s also absolutely terrifying.

Regency-3Which got me to thinking about moving in the Regency, especially for women. It suddenly occurred to me that “home” and the prospect of losing a secure place in the world, plays an integral part in many of Austen’s novels. Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Persuasion—actual displacement from a familiar place or fear of losing it play a central role in the stories. Mansfield Park also has a strong theme of “home” as Fanny struggles to figure where and how she fits in.

Young_Ladies_at_HomeWhere is your place in the world? I had the freedom to decide I was ready for a change and then take independent action to make it happen, but for our Regency sisters, it wasn’t quite so simple. For one thing, few ladies had the financial means to make such decisions on their Imagesown. Unless they were lucky enough to have received a bequest from some rich relative of property or money, they had little hope of establishing themselves in their own place. Of course, if they were married, the situation became even stickier, as the legalities of the time made them little more than a husband’s property, like his horses and his hounds.

6450In the higher circles of English society, there was also the worry of a husband passing away without a male child, leaving his widow and daughters at the mercy of the heir, who by rights can toss them out on their ear. In this light, Mrs. Bennett’s obsession with marrying off her daughters—especially to a rich man who will take care of the rest of them—becomes Regency-2a tad more sympathetic. Worry over the future was no trifling matter. Austen shows us this in Sense and Sensibility. The Dashwoods must make the best of being forced from their home when Dashwood’s son by his first marriage inherits the house. They are offered a cottage by distant relations, and must establish a new life. Their story, of course, has a happy ending, but I imagine that many real-life situations did not. Slowly sinking into genteel poverty was not uncommon. The sense of dislocation and helplessness must have been frightening and frustrating.

1813-ackermann-regency-morning-dress-2So ladies were pretty much dependent on making a making a good match or the goodwill of their family to care for them as spinsters or widows. Now, family dynamics likely haven’t changed much over the centuries. Relationships are, say we say complicated, and it’s the rare family whose interactions are nothing but sweetness and light. Conflicts and resentments can arise, making the hierarchy even more complex. A brother’s wife may resent the crowding and extra mouths to feed, or expect an unwed sister to serve as a Regency-13nursery maid. An imperious grandmother may treat a poor relation as an unpaid servant, there to do her bidding at every hour of the day. Any female with spirit or a lively intellect could very feel stifled and frustrated by a lack of independence. For a gentry girl, an option could be seeking a position as a governess or paid companion, but that was in a sense simply jumping from the frying pan into the fire. For an aristocratic lady, there wasn’t even that choice—if she didn’t marry, she would likely find herself confined to world where the horizons were ever shrinking rather than expanding world.

BoatSo as I settle into my new digs, and surround myself with all the little things that are meaningful to me and create a sense of “home,” I reflect on how much as I love the Regency, I am glad to be living in the here and now. (But hey, I brought my oil lamps with me from the old house . . . there is something to be said for the best of both worlds!

So how about you? Have you ever moved, and did you find it as stressful as I did? What would you dislike most about living as a poor relation in a household? I would miss the privacy and the quiet time to read and reflect.

80 thoughts on “Home Sweet Home”

  1. I think that desperation women often felt in the past is something people who criticise Jane Austen and historical romance fail to recognise. I’ve seen P&P reviews with comments like, “What are they complaining about? Why don’t they just go and get a job?!”.
    Our family’s biggest move was probably India to Australia.
    Getting everything packed for shipping was… interesting. There they got a wiry middle-aged man (who looked eighty) to stand on a set of bathroom scales and hold one item at a time. Then they removed the man’s weight from the total and calculated the price!
    We have a picture somewhere of the guy standing on the scales with an entire dresser on his back!

    Reply
  2. I think that desperation women often felt in the past is something people who criticise Jane Austen and historical romance fail to recognise. I’ve seen P&P reviews with comments like, “What are they complaining about? Why don’t they just go and get a job?!”.
    Our family’s biggest move was probably India to Australia.
    Getting everything packed for shipping was… interesting. There they got a wiry middle-aged man (who looked eighty) to stand on a set of bathroom scales and hold one item at a time. Then they removed the man’s weight from the total and calculated the price!
    We have a picture somewhere of the guy standing on the scales with an entire dresser on his back!

    Reply
  3. I think that desperation women often felt in the past is something people who criticise Jane Austen and historical romance fail to recognise. I’ve seen P&P reviews with comments like, “What are they complaining about? Why don’t they just go and get a job?!”.
    Our family’s biggest move was probably India to Australia.
    Getting everything packed for shipping was… interesting. There they got a wiry middle-aged man (who looked eighty) to stand on a set of bathroom scales and hold one item at a time. Then they removed the man’s weight from the total and calculated the price!
    We have a picture somewhere of the guy standing on the scales with an entire dresser on his back!

    Reply
  4. I think that desperation women often felt in the past is something people who criticise Jane Austen and historical romance fail to recognise. I’ve seen P&P reviews with comments like, “What are they complaining about? Why don’t they just go and get a job?!”.
    Our family’s biggest move was probably India to Australia.
    Getting everything packed for shipping was… interesting. There they got a wiry middle-aged man (who looked eighty) to stand on a set of bathroom scales and hold one item at a time. Then they removed the man’s weight from the total and calculated the price!
    We have a picture somewhere of the guy standing on the scales with an entire dresser on his back!

    Reply
  5. I think that desperation women often felt in the past is something people who criticise Jane Austen and historical romance fail to recognise. I’ve seen P&P reviews with comments like, “What are they complaining about? Why don’t they just go and get a job?!”.
    Our family’s biggest move was probably India to Australia.
    Getting everything packed for shipping was… interesting. There they got a wiry middle-aged man (who looked eighty) to stand on a set of bathroom scales and hold one item at a time. Then they removed the man’s weight from the total and calculated the price!
    We have a picture somewhere of the guy standing on the scales with an entire dresser on his back!

    Reply
  6. I’ve moved twice in my adult life and although each time it was to a bigger, better place, I didn’t enjoy it. The place I live in now suits my needs and it’s paid for, so I won’t be moving again unless I have to, or I win the lottery. As I was buying this place and moving in, my mother was in a terrible accident, I was working full time and studying for the CPA exam. I just had the movers bring over the boxes and stack them in the living room; I’d worry about all that some other day. Then two friends of mine came in and set up my bookcases and unpacked all the books for me. I would never have thought of asking for help, and it meant the world to me that they’d be so thoughtful — and work so hard, since even then I had a lot of books!

    Reply
  7. I’ve moved twice in my adult life and although each time it was to a bigger, better place, I didn’t enjoy it. The place I live in now suits my needs and it’s paid for, so I won’t be moving again unless I have to, or I win the lottery. As I was buying this place and moving in, my mother was in a terrible accident, I was working full time and studying for the CPA exam. I just had the movers bring over the boxes and stack them in the living room; I’d worry about all that some other day. Then two friends of mine came in and set up my bookcases and unpacked all the books for me. I would never have thought of asking for help, and it meant the world to me that they’d be so thoughtful — and work so hard, since even then I had a lot of books!

    Reply
  8. I’ve moved twice in my adult life and although each time it was to a bigger, better place, I didn’t enjoy it. The place I live in now suits my needs and it’s paid for, so I won’t be moving again unless I have to, or I win the lottery. As I was buying this place and moving in, my mother was in a terrible accident, I was working full time and studying for the CPA exam. I just had the movers bring over the boxes and stack them in the living room; I’d worry about all that some other day. Then two friends of mine came in and set up my bookcases and unpacked all the books for me. I would never have thought of asking for help, and it meant the world to me that they’d be so thoughtful — and work so hard, since even then I had a lot of books!

    Reply
  9. I’ve moved twice in my adult life and although each time it was to a bigger, better place, I didn’t enjoy it. The place I live in now suits my needs and it’s paid for, so I won’t be moving again unless I have to, or I win the lottery. As I was buying this place and moving in, my mother was in a terrible accident, I was working full time and studying for the CPA exam. I just had the movers bring over the boxes and stack them in the living room; I’d worry about all that some other day. Then two friends of mine came in and set up my bookcases and unpacked all the books for me. I would never have thought of asking for help, and it meant the world to me that they’d be so thoughtful — and work so hard, since even then I had a lot of books!

    Reply
  10. I’ve moved twice in my adult life and although each time it was to a bigger, better place, I didn’t enjoy it. The place I live in now suits my needs and it’s paid for, so I won’t be moving again unless I have to, or I win the lottery. As I was buying this place and moving in, my mother was in a terrible accident, I was working full time and studying for the CPA exam. I just had the movers bring over the boxes and stack them in the living room; I’d worry about all that some other day. Then two friends of mine came in and set up my bookcases and unpacked all the books for me. I would never have thought of asking for help, and it meant the world to me that they’d be so thoughtful — and work so hard, since even then I had a lot of books!

    Reply
  11. My last move was stressful. I came home one day to find a notice to vacate on the condo that I was renting. (The reason I was renting was that my husband and I had sold our place about a year after we got divorced.) I called the number, found out that the bank had foreclosed on my landlord, and then confirmed with the landlord the “facts” of the case. The bank offered to pay for my move if I was out in three weeks. I could have some time but no money. Or I could fight it through the courts until they evicted me. I took the money.
    In one week, I found a place that would take me AND my cat. Then a couple of days for a credit check. Three days later, I found a moving company that could move me on the day I could reserve the building elevator. The next week, I packed. The movers marveled over how many boxes of books and bookcases I had.
    I unpacked some stuff quickly, but left other stuff to settle as I figured out where I wanted stuff. Two weeks into it settling in, I had emergency surgery and couldn’t lift anything over 10 pounds for a month. So for me the move was a sharp arc up and then a very slow gradual arc down, taking several months before I was settled.
    I could really feel for those heroines who had a father who gambled too much and needed to bolt on creditors. Picking up and going to the next temporary place.
    As for a paid companion or a poor relation, I think what I’d really hate would be the need to agree with those who mattered. If she wanted yellow flowers on her embroidery when pink would have looked better… If she loved Byron and I liked Radcliffe… And also the loneliness would bother me: when would there be time to make friends and what kind of friendship could one develop with other family members or the servants?

    Reply
  12. My last move was stressful. I came home one day to find a notice to vacate on the condo that I was renting. (The reason I was renting was that my husband and I had sold our place about a year after we got divorced.) I called the number, found out that the bank had foreclosed on my landlord, and then confirmed with the landlord the “facts” of the case. The bank offered to pay for my move if I was out in three weeks. I could have some time but no money. Or I could fight it through the courts until they evicted me. I took the money.
    In one week, I found a place that would take me AND my cat. Then a couple of days for a credit check. Three days later, I found a moving company that could move me on the day I could reserve the building elevator. The next week, I packed. The movers marveled over how many boxes of books and bookcases I had.
    I unpacked some stuff quickly, but left other stuff to settle as I figured out where I wanted stuff. Two weeks into it settling in, I had emergency surgery and couldn’t lift anything over 10 pounds for a month. So for me the move was a sharp arc up and then a very slow gradual arc down, taking several months before I was settled.
    I could really feel for those heroines who had a father who gambled too much and needed to bolt on creditors. Picking up and going to the next temporary place.
    As for a paid companion or a poor relation, I think what I’d really hate would be the need to agree with those who mattered. If she wanted yellow flowers on her embroidery when pink would have looked better… If she loved Byron and I liked Radcliffe… And also the loneliness would bother me: when would there be time to make friends and what kind of friendship could one develop with other family members or the servants?

    Reply
  13. My last move was stressful. I came home one day to find a notice to vacate on the condo that I was renting. (The reason I was renting was that my husband and I had sold our place about a year after we got divorced.) I called the number, found out that the bank had foreclosed on my landlord, and then confirmed with the landlord the “facts” of the case. The bank offered to pay for my move if I was out in three weeks. I could have some time but no money. Or I could fight it through the courts until they evicted me. I took the money.
    In one week, I found a place that would take me AND my cat. Then a couple of days for a credit check. Three days later, I found a moving company that could move me on the day I could reserve the building elevator. The next week, I packed. The movers marveled over how many boxes of books and bookcases I had.
    I unpacked some stuff quickly, but left other stuff to settle as I figured out where I wanted stuff. Two weeks into it settling in, I had emergency surgery and couldn’t lift anything over 10 pounds for a month. So for me the move was a sharp arc up and then a very slow gradual arc down, taking several months before I was settled.
    I could really feel for those heroines who had a father who gambled too much and needed to bolt on creditors. Picking up and going to the next temporary place.
    As for a paid companion or a poor relation, I think what I’d really hate would be the need to agree with those who mattered. If she wanted yellow flowers on her embroidery when pink would have looked better… If she loved Byron and I liked Radcliffe… And also the loneliness would bother me: when would there be time to make friends and what kind of friendship could one develop with other family members or the servants?

    Reply
  14. My last move was stressful. I came home one day to find a notice to vacate on the condo that I was renting. (The reason I was renting was that my husband and I had sold our place about a year after we got divorced.) I called the number, found out that the bank had foreclosed on my landlord, and then confirmed with the landlord the “facts” of the case. The bank offered to pay for my move if I was out in three weeks. I could have some time but no money. Or I could fight it through the courts until they evicted me. I took the money.
    In one week, I found a place that would take me AND my cat. Then a couple of days for a credit check. Three days later, I found a moving company that could move me on the day I could reserve the building elevator. The next week, I packed. The movers marveled over how many boxes of books and bookcases I had.
    I unpacked some stuff quickly, but left other stuff to settle as I figured out where I wanted stuff. Two weeks into it settling in, I had emergency surgery and couldn’t lift anything over 10 pounds for a month. So for me the move was a sharp arc up and then a very slow gradual arc down, taking several months before I was settled.
    I could really feel for those heroines who had a father who gambled too much and needed to bolt on creditors. Picking up and going to the next temporary place.
    As for a paid companion or a poor relation, I think what I’d really hate would be the need to agree with those who mattered. If she wanted yellow flowers on her embroidery when pink would have looked better… If she loved Byron and I liked Radcliffe… And also the loneliness would bother me: when would there be time to make friends and what kind of friendship could one develop with other family members or the servants?

    Reply
  15. My last move was stressful. I came home one day to find a notice to vacate on the condo that I was renting. (The reason I was renting was that my husband and I had sold our place about a year after we got divorced.) I called the number, found out that the bank had foreclosed on my landlord, and then confirmed with the landlord the “facts” of the case. The bank offered to pay for my move if I was out in three weeks. I could have some time but no money. Or I could fight it through the courts until they evicted me. I took the money.
    In one week, I found a place that would take me AND my cat. Then a couple of days for a credit check. Three days later, I found a moving company that could move me on the day I could reserve the building elevator. The next week, I packed. The movers marveled over how many boxes of books and bookcases I had.
    I unpacked some stuff quickly, but left other stuff to settle as I figured out where I wanted stuff. Two weeks into it settling in, I had emergency surgery and couldn’t lift anything over 10 pounds for a month. So for me the move was a sharp arc up and then a very slow gradual arc down, taking several months before I was settled.
    I could really feel for those heroines who had a father who gambled too much and needed to bolt on creditors. Picking up and going to the next temporary place.
    As for a paid companion or a poor relation, I think what I’d really hate would be the need to agree with those who mattered. If she wanted yellow flowers on her embroidery when pink would have looked better… If she loved Byron and I liked Radcliffe… And also the loneliness would bother me: when would there be time to make friends and what kind of friendship could one develop with other family members or the servants?

    Reply
  16. That’s so very true about the sense of desperation, that many modern people don’t quite understand, Sonya. It’s also true that expectations were different, but still, any inquisitive, intellectually sharp lady must have chafed over the lack of opportunities to develop and explore.
    I am laughing over your story of the mover on the scale! OMG, thank goodness I didn’t have to weigh my stuff. One of the poor guys who had to lug all my books up to the third floor finally looked at me quizzically and said, “Have you ever considered a kindle?” At least he had a sense of humor!

    Reply
  17. That’s so very true about the sense of desperation, that many modern people don’t quite understand, Sonya. It’s also true that expectations were different, but still, any inquisitive, intellectually sharp lady must have chafed over the lack of opportunities to develop and explore.
    I am laughing over your story of the mover on the scale! OMG, thank goodness I didn’t have to weigh my stuff. One of the poor guys who had to lug all my books up to the third floor finally looked at me quizzically and said, “Have you ever considered a kindle?” At least he had a sense of humor!

    Reply
  18. That’s so very true about the sense of desperation, that many modern people don’t quite understand, Sonya. It’s also true that expectations were different, but still, any inquisitive, intellectually sharp lady must have chafed over the lack of opportunities to develop and explore.
    I am laughing over your story of the mover on the scale! OMG, thank goodness I didn’t have to weigh my stuff. One of the poor guys who had to lug all my books up to the third floor finally looked at me quizzically and said, “Have you ever considered a kindle?” At least he had a sense of humor!

    Reply
  19. That’s so very true about the sense of desperation, that many modern people don’t quite understand, Sonya. It’s also true that expectations were different, but still, any inquisitive, intellectually sharp lady must have chafed over the lack of opportunities to develop and explore.
    I am laughing over your story of the mover on the scale! OMG, thank goodness I didn’t have to weigh my stuff. One of the poor guys who had to lug all my books up to the third floor finally looked at me quizzically and said, “Have you ever considered a kindle?” At least he had a sense of humor!

    Reply
  20. That’s so very true about the sense of desperation, that many modern people don’t quite understand, Sonya. It’s also true that expectations were different, but still, any inquisitive, intellectually sharp lady must have chafed over the lack of opportunities to develop and explore.
    I am laughing over your story of the mover on the scale! OMG, thank goodness I didn’t have to weigh my stuff. One of the poor guys who had to lug all my books up to the third floor finally looked at me quizzically and said, “Have you ever considered a kindle?” At least he had a sense of humor!

    Reply
  21. Shannon, you went through some REAL stresses. It’s amazing what we can do when we have to. Hope you are all settled now, and the boxes are slowly being unpacked.
    Being at the mercy of a profligate father or brother would be awful—and it certainly happened often enough. I totally agree with you that “biting your tongue” to agree with your host would wear you down emotionally. And yes, loneliness and a sense of total isolation would be terribly depressing. As you point out, there would be little chance to meet kindred souls if you were an unpaid companion.

    Reply
  22. Shannon, you went through some REAL stresses. It’s amazing what we can do when we have to. Hope you are all settled now, and the boxes are slowly being unpacked.
    Being at the mercy of a profligate father or brother would be awful—and it certainly happened often enough. I totally agree with you that “biting your tongue” to agree with your host would wear you down emotionally. And yes, loneliness and a sense of total isolation would be terribly depressing. As you point out, there would be little chance to meet kindred souls if you were an unpaid companion.

    Reply
  23. Shannon, you went through some REAL stresses. It’s amazing what we can do when we have to. Hope you are all settled now, and the boxes are slowly being unpacked.
    Being at the mercy of a profligate father or brother would be awful—and it certainly happened often enough. I totally agree with you that “biting your tongue” to agree with your host would wear you down emotionally. And yes, loneliness and a sense of total isolation would be terribly depressing. As you point out, there would be little chance to meet kindred souls if you were an unpaid companion.

    Reply
  24. Shannon, you went through some REAL stresses. It’s amazing what we can do when we have to. Hope you are all settled now, and the boxes are slowly being unpacked.
    Being at the mercy of a profligate father or brother would be awful—and it certainly happened often enough. I totally agree with you that “biting your tongue” to agree with your host would wear you down emotionally. And yes, loneliness and a sense of total isolation would be terribly depressing. As you point out, there would be little chance to meet kindred souls if you were an unpaid companion.

    Reply
  25. Shannon, you went through some REAL stresses. It’s amazing what we can do when we have to. Hope you are all settled now, and the boxes are slowly being unpacked.
    Being at the mercy of a profligate father or brother would be awful—and it certainly happened often enough. I totally agree with you that “biting your tongue” to agree with your host would wear you down emotionally. And yes, loneliness and a sense of total isolation would be terribly depressing. As you point out, there would be little chance to meet kindred souls if you were an unpaid companion.

    Reply
  26. Andrea–
    Your blog is the best possible recommendation for a woman having the ability to support herself! Moving is -always- stressful, though particularly so for Janice and Shannon. When I moved into my present house twenty years ago, I decided that my future policy is dying in place so I won’t have to move again. *G*

    Reply
  27. Andrea–
    Your blog is the best possible recommendation for a woman having the ability to support herself! Moving is -always- stressful, though particularly so for Janice and Shannon. When I moved into my present house twenty years ago, I decided that my future policy is dying in place so I won’t have to move again. *G*

    Reply
  28. Andrea–
    Your blog is the best possible recommendation for a woman having the ability to support herself! Moving is -always- stressful, though particularly so for Janice and Shannon. When I moved into my present house twenty years ago, I decided that my future policy is dying in place so I won’t have to move again. *G*

    Reply
  29. Andrea–
    Your blog is the best possible recommendation for a woman having the ability to support herself! Moving is -always- stressful, though particularly so for Janice and Shannon. When I moved into my present house twenty years ago, I decided that my future policy is dying in place so I won’t have to move again. *G*

    Reply
  30. Andrea–
    Your blog is the best possible recommendation for a woman having the ability to support herself! Moving is -always- stressful, though particularly so for Janice and Shannon. When I moved into my present house twenty years ago, I decided that my future policy is dying in place so I won’t have to move again. *G*

    Reply
  31. Like Mary Jo, I intend to die in this house–not too soon, hopefully. We’ve been here four years. I bought the house 3 days after my husband had life-saving surgery and the doctor told me he didn’t have end-stage cancer after all…actually, the day of my first book release! My husband was so doped up he didn’t know how much I paid for the house for weeks. We’d had our eye on it for a little while, and when the price dropped, I knew I had to make an offer. He’d only peered in the windows and never had been inside! I took most of our kids though when I met the Realtor and they approved. 🙂
    So, since my husband was still so sick (visiting nurse daily), I packed up the house we were renting in less than a month so we could close and get him settled somewhere much more comfortable. I don’t know how I could have done it without my oldest daughter, who went through damp boxes of family pictures for me.
    I suppose it helped that we’ve moved so many times for my husband’s job (he was a school superintendent/principal)that I have actually lost count and it’s too early at the moment to tax my brain to remember. I know we’ve lived in 7 states, and there were in-state moves as well. So, this is definitely home sweet home for as long as we can manage it–life on the lake is pretty good. 🙂
    I hope you love your new spot as much as I love mine! Many years of happiness in your new home!

    Reply
  32. Like Mary Jo, I intend to die in this house–not too soon, hopefully. We’ve been here four years. I bought the house 3 days after my husband had life-saving surgery and the doctor told me he didn’t have end-stage cancer after all…actually, the day of my first book release! My husband was so doped up he didn’t know how much I paid for the house for weeks. We’d had our eye on it for a little while, and when the price dropped, I knew I had to make an offer. He’d only peered in the windows and never had been inside! I took most of our kids though when I met the Realtor and they approved. 🙂
    So, since my husband was still so sick (visiting nurse daily), I packed up the house we were renting in less than a month so we could close and get him settled somewhere much more comfortable. I don’t know how I could have done it without my oldest daughter, who went through damp boxes of family pictures for me.
    I suppose it helped that we’ve moved so many times for my husband’s job (he was a school superintendent/principal)that I have actually lost count and it’s too early at the moment to tax my brain to remember. I know we’ve lived in 7 states, and there were in-state moves as well. So, this is definitely home sweet home for as long as we can manage it–life on the lake is pretty good. 🙂
    I hope you love your new spot as much as I love mine! Many years of happiness in your new home!

    Reply
  33. Like Mary Jo, I intend to die in this house–not too soon, hopefully. We’ve been here four years. I bought the house 3 days after my husband had life-saving surgery and the doctor told me he didn’t have end-stage cancer after all…actually, the day of my first book release! My husband was so doped up he didn’t know how much I paid for the house for weeks. We’d had our eye on it for a little while, and when the price dropped, I knew I had to make an offer. He’d only peered in the windows and never had been inside! I took most of our kids though when I met the Realtor and they approved. 🙂
    So, since my husband was still so sick (visiting nurse daily), I packed up the house we were renting in less than a month so we could close and get him settled somewhere much more comfortable. I don’t know how I could have done it without my oldest daughter, who went through damp boxes of family pictures for me.
    I suppose it helped that we’ve moved so many times for my husband’s job (he was a school superintendent/principal)that I have actually lost count and it’s too early at the moment to tax my brain to remember. I know we’ve lived in 7 states, and there were in-state moves as well. So, this is definitely home sweet home for as long as we can manage it–life on the lake is pretty good. 🙂
    I hope you love your new spot as much as I love mine! Many years of happiness in your new home!

    Reply
  34. Like Mary Jo, I intend to die in this house–not too soon, hopefully. We’ve been here four years. I bought the house 3 days after my husband had life-saving surgery and the doctor told me he didn’t have end-stage cancer after all…actually, the day of my first book release! My husband was so doped up he didn’t know how much I paid for the house for weeks. We’d had our eye on it for a little while, and when the price dropped, I knew I had to make an offer. He’d only peered in the windows and never had been inside! I took most of our kids though when I met the Realtor and they approved. 🙂
    So, since my husband was still so sick (visiting nurse daily), I packed up the house we were renting in less than a month so we could close and get him settled somewhere much more comfortable. I don’t know how I could have done it without my oldest daughter, who went through damp boxes of family pictures for me.
    I suppose it helped that we’ve moved so many times for my husband’s job (he was a school superintendent/principal)that I have actually lost count and it’s too early at the moment to tax my brain to remember. I know we’ve lived in 7 states, and there were in-state moves as well. So, this is definitely home sweet home for as long as we can manage it–life on the lake is pretty good. 🙂
    I hope you love your new spot as much as I love mine! Many years of happiness in your new home!

    Reply
  35. Like Mary Jo, I intend to die in this house–not too soon, hopefully. We’ve been here four years. I bought the house 3 days after my husband had life-saving surgery and the doctor told me he didn’t have end-stage cancer after all…actually, the day of my first book release! My husband was so doped up he didn’t know how much I paid for the house for weeks. We’d had our eye on it for a little while, and when the price dropped, I knew I had to make an offer. He’d only peered in the windows and never had been inside! I took most of our kids though when I met the Realtor and they approved. 🙂
    So, since my husband was still so sick (visiting nurse daily), I packed up the house we were renting in less than a month so we could close and get him settled somewhere much more comfortable. I don’t know how I could have done it without my oldest daughter, who went through damp boxes of family pictures for me.
    I suppose it helped that we’ve moved so many times for my husband’s job (he was a school superintendent/principal)that I have actually lost count and it’s too early at the moment to tax my brain to remember. I know we’ve lived in 7 states, and there were in-state moves as well. So, this is definitely home sweet home for as long as we can manage it–life on the lake is pretty good. 🙂
    I hope you love your new spot as much as I love mine! Many years of happiness in your new home!

    Reply
  36. Maggie, the lake sounds wonderful, and clearly you knew from the first moment that the house was meant for you. So happy to hear you love your spot. I do love my new place too—I wake up each morning pinching myself that I actually live here now. I fell in love with it after within 10 seconds of walking in the front door. I t was a real ordeal to make it happen, and required several leaps of faith that could have landed me in the suds. But here I am, feeling so happy that I dared take the chance.

    Reply
  37. Maggie, the lake sounds wonderful, and clearly you knew from the first moment that the house was meant for you. So happy to hear you love your spot. I do love my new place too—I wake up each morning pinching myself that I actually live here now. I fell in love with it after within 10 seconds of walking in the front door. I t was a real ordeal to make it happen, and required several leaps of faith that could have landed me in the suds. But here I am, feeling so happy that I dared take the chance.

    Reply
  38. Maggie, the lake sounds wonderful, and clearly you knew from the first moment that the house was meant for you. So happy to hear you love your spot. I do love my new place too—I wake up each morning pinching myself that I actually live here now. I fell in love with it after within 10 seconds of walking in the front door. I t was a real ordeal to make it happen, and required several leaps of faith that could have landed me in the suds. But here I am, feeling so happy that I dared take the chance.

    Reply
  39. Maggie, the lake sounds wonderful, and clearly you knew from the first moment that the house was meant for you. So happy to hear you love your spot. I do love my new place too—I wake up each morning pinching myself that I actually live here now. I fell in love with it after within 10 seconds of walking in the front door. I t was a real ordeal to make it happen, and required several leaps of faith that could have landed me in the suds. But here I am, feeling so happy that I dared take the chance.

    Reply
  40. Maggie, the lake sounds wonderful, and clearly you knew from the first moment that the house was meant for you. So happy to hear you love your spot. I do love my new place too—I wake up each morning pinching myself that I actually live here now. I fell in love with it after within 10 seconds of walking in the front door. I t was a real ordeal to make it happen, and required several leaps of faith that could have landed me in the suds. But here I am, feeling so happy that I dared take the chance.

    Reply
  41. My husband was in the army when we married and we spent the next twenty years moving around. We moved to and from Germany, to the Philippines, and within the US. In Germany we moved 11 times in 6 years. Once we moved 3 times in one year. Even after he retired from the army we moved 8 times in 5 years. Then we stayed set for 30 years. When my husband was dead and the children all had left home, and the cost of keeping up the house and yard was too much I moved to a condo. The most painful part was getting rid of 100 boxes of regency and other romances. I had to keep my library of reference materials .
    Every move usually resulted in something being lost or broken, even if the move was just from one place to another in the same town.
    When my husband died, his will was declared invalid for a technical reason so we had to to to probate court to get ownership of the house clarified. No widow’s right or primogeniture . The house had to be put in my name and the names of my three children even though the youngest had just turned seven. Far from being tossed out of the house, I knew we had to stay there for the next eleven years no matter the circumstances.

    Reply
  42. My husband was in the army when we married and we spent the next twenty years moving around. We moved to and from Germany, to the Philippines, and within the US. In Germany we moved 11 times in 6 years. Once we moved 3 times in one year. Even after he retired from the army we moved 8 times in 5 years. Then we stayed set for 30 years. When my husband was dead and the children all had left home, and the cost of keeping up the house and yard was too much I moved to a condo. The most painful part was getting rid of 100 boxes of regency and other romances. I had to keep my library of reference materials .
    Every move usually resulted in something being lost or broken, even if the move was just from one place to another in the same town.
    When my husband died, his will was declared invalid for a technical reason so we had to to to probate court to get ownership of the house clarified. No widow’s right or primogeniture . The house had to be put in my name and the names of my three children even though the youngest had just turned seven. Far from being tossed out of the house, I knew we had to stay there for the next eleven years no matter the circumstances.

    Reply
  43. My husband was in the army when we married and we spent the next twenty years moving around. We moved to and from Germany, to the Philippines, and within the US. In Germany we moved 11 times in 6 years. Once we moved 3 times in one year. Even after he retired from the army we moved 8 times in 5 years. Then we stayed set for 30 years. When my husband was dead and the children all had left home, and the cost of keeping up the house and yard was too much I moved to a condo. The most painful part was getting rid of 100 boxes of regency and other romances. I had to keep my library of reference materials .
    Every move usually resulted in something being lost or broken, even if the move was just from one place to another in the same town.
    When my husband died, his will was declared invalid for a technical reason so we had to to to probate court to get ownership of the house clarified. No widow’s right or primogeniture . The house had to be put in my name and the names of my three children even though the youngest had just turned seven. Far from being tossed out of the house, I knew we had to stay there for the next eleven years no matter the circumstances.

    Reply
  44. My husband was in the army when we married and we spent the next twenty years moving around. We moved to and from Germany, to the Philippines, and within the US. In Germany we moved 11 times in 6 years. Once we moved 3 times in one year. Even after he retired from the army we moved 8 times in 5 years. Then we stayed set for 30 years. When my husband was dead and the children all had left home, and the cost of keeping up the house and yard was too much I moved to a condo. The most painful part was getting rid of 100 boxes of regency and other romances. I had to keep my library of reference materials .
    Every move usually resulted in something being lost or broken, even if the move was just from one place to another in the same town.
    When my husband died, his will was declared invalid for a technical reason so we had to to to probate court to get ownership of the house clarified. No widow’s right or primogeniture . The house had to be put in my name and the names of my three children even though the youngest had just turned seven. Far from being tossed out of the house, I knew we had to stay there for the next eleven years no matter the circumstances.

    Reply
  45. My husband was in the army when we married and we spent the next twenty years moving around. We moved to and from Germany, to the Philippines, and within the US. In Germany we moved 11 times in 6 years. Once we moved 3 times in one year. Even after he retired from the army we moved 8 times in 5 years. Then we stayed set for 30 years. When my husband was dead and the children all had left home, and the cost of keeping up the house and yard was too much I moved to a condo. The most painful part was getting rid of 100 boxes of regency and other romances. I had to keep my library of reference materials .
    Every move usually resulted in something being lost or broken, even if the move was just from one place to another in the same town.
    When my husband died, his will was declared invalid for a technical reason so we had to to to probate court to get ownership of the house clarified. No widow’s right or primogeniture . The house had to be put in my name and the names of my three children even though the youngest had just turned seven. Far from being tossed out of the house, I knew we had to stay there for the next eleven years no matter the circumstances.

    Reply
  46. Nacy, that’s a terrible story about the will! You must have felt trapped in a Regency novel . . .but alas, it was real life. A friend told me that moving is considered one of life’s great stresses, but I didn’t really buy that until this experience. And reading the stories here seems to confirm it. Hope things have settled down and you are happy where you are now. (I,too, lightened up on my books because I’ve come to a place with less storage space—that hurt!)

    Reply
  47. Nacy, that’s a terrible story about the will! You must have felt trapped in a Regency novel . . .but alas, it was real life. A friend told me that moving is considered one of life’s great stresses, but I didn’t really buy that until this experience. And reading the stories here seems to confirm it. Hope things have settled down and you are happy where you are now. (I,too, lightened up on my books because I’ve come to a place with less storage space—that hurt!)

    Reply
  48. Nacy, that’s a terrible story about the will! You must have felt trapped in a Regency novel . . .but alas, it was real life. A friend told me that moving is considered one of life’s great stresses, but I didn’t really buy that until this experience. And reading the stories here seems to confirm it. Hope things have settled down and you are happy where you are now. (I,too, lightened up on my books because I’ve come to a place with less storage space—that hurt!)

    Reply
  49. Nacy, that’s a terrible story about the will! You must have felt trapped in a Regency novel . . .but alas, it was real life. A friend told me that moving is considered one of life’s great stresses, but I didn’t really buy that until this experience. And reading the stories here seems to confirm it. Hope things have settled down and you are happy where you are now. (I,too, lightened up on my books because I’ve come to a place with less storage space—that hurt!)

    Reply
  50. Nacy, that’s a terrible story about the will! You must have felt trapped in a Regency novel . . .but alas, it was real life. A friend told me that moving is considered one of life’s great stresses, but I didn’t really buy that until this experience. And reading the stories here seems to confirm it. Hope things have settled down and you are happy where you are now. (I,too, lightened up on my books because I’ve come to a place with less storage space—that hurt!)

    Reply
  51. Are you kidding me? Since I went out of my parent’s house I have moved – seven times, and the last two with children. The happy thing is that I hope that the last time, more than a decade ago is really the last one.
    I found it very stressful, specially when I was young and we had no money to pay a company to do part of the job but had to do it all by ourselves. At the beginning you are very careful about what you take and what you throw away but in the end you don’t even know what you’ve kept and what you’ve thrown away and where is anything!
    I would hate to live as a a poor relation in a household. I would miss to organize my time and to adjust to other people’s schedules. And my things! OMG, are they going to accept my books and my things, my clothes?
    I want to eat, walk, or read, or watch TV when I want, and not when someone else decides to do it. I want to have my things around me, even in an untidy way.

    Reply
  52. Are you kidding me? Since I went out of my parent’s house I have moved – seven times, and the last two with children. The happy thing is that I hope that the last time, more than a decade ago is really the last one.
    I found it very stressful, specially when I was young and we had no money to pay a company to do part of the job but had to do it all by ourselves. At the beginning you are very careful about what you take and what you throw away but in the end you don’t even know what you’ve kept and what you’ve thrown away and where is anything!
    I would hate to live as a a poor relation in a household. I would miss to organize my time and to adjust to other people’s schedules. And my things! OMG, are they going to accept my books and my things, my clothes?
    I want to eat, walk, or read, or watch TV when I want, and not when someone else decides to do it. I want to have my things around me, even in an untidy way.

    Reply
  53. Are you kidding me? Since I went out of my parent’s house I have moved – seven times, and the last two with children. The happy thing is that I hope that the last time, more than a decade ago is really the last one.
    I found it very stressful, specially when I was young and we had no money to pay a company to do part of the job but had to do it all by ourselves. At the beginning you are very careful about what you take and what you throw away but in the end you don’t even know what you’ve kept and what you’ve thrown away and where is anything!
    I would hate to live as a a poor relation in a household. I would miss to organize my time and to adjust to other people’s schedules. And my things! OMG, are they going to accept my books and my things, my clothes?
    I want to eat, walk, or read, or watch TV when I want, and not when someone else decides to do it. I want to have my things around me, even in an untidy way.

    Reply
  54. Are you kidding me? Since I went out of my parent’s house I have moved – seven times, and the last two with children. The happy thing is that I hope that the last time, more than a decade ago is really the last one.
    I found it very stressful, specially when I was young and we had no money to pay a company to do part of the job but had to do it all by ourselves. At the beginning you are very careful about what you take and what you throw away but in the end you don’t even know what you’ve kept and what you’ve thrown away and where is anything!
    I would hate to live as a a poor relation in a household. I would miss to organize my time and to adjust to other people’s schedules. And my things! OMG, are they going to accept my books and my things, my clothes?
    I want to eat, walk, or read, or watch TV when I want, and not when someone else decides to do it. I want to have my things around me, even in an untidy way.

    Reply
  55. Are you kidding me? Since I went out of my parent’s house I have moved – seven times, and the last two with children. The happy thing is that I hope that the last time, more than a decade ago is really the last one.
    I found it very stressful, specially when I was young and we had no money to pay a company to do part of the job but had to do it all by ourselves. At the beginning you are very careful about what you take and what you throw away but in the end you don’t even know what you’ve kept and what you’ve thrown away and where is anything!
    I would hate to live as a a poor relation in a household. I would miss to organize my time and to adjust to other people’s schedules. And my things! OMG, are they going to accept my books and my things, my clothes?
    I want to eat, walk, or read, or watch TV when I want, and not when someone else decides to do it. I want to have my things around me, even in an untidy way.

    Reply
  56. We sold our house a week ago yesterday. This past week has been full of inspections and meetings and paper signing and in the midst of it all, the owners of the house we’d put a bid on jacked us around until we pulled our bid. We were not going to offer any more money or any more days and days of waiting for a response from them. So, in five weeks, we will be out of the house I thought I’d never leave, that I built on property that’s been in my family 80 years, and we have nowhere to go!
    This is an adventure. This is an adventure. This is an adventure…I just keep telling myself that…

    Reply
  57. We sold our house a week ago yesterday. This past week has been full of inspections and meetings and paper signing and in the midst of it all, the owners of the house we’d put a bid on jacked us around until we pulled our bid. We were not going to offer any more money or any more days and days of waiting for a response from them. So, in five weeks, we will be out of the house I thought I’d never leave, that I built on property that’s been in my family 80 years, and we have nowhere to go!
    This is an adventure. This is an adventure. This is an adventure…I just keep telling myself that…

    Reply
  58. We sold our house a week ago yesterday. This past week has been full of inspections and meetings and paper signing and in the midst of it all, the owners of the house we’d put a bid on jacked us around until we pulled our bid. We were not going to offer any more money or any more days and days of waiting for a response from them. So, in five weeks, we will be out of the house I thought I’d never leave, that I built on property that’s been in my family 80 years, and we have nowhere to go!
    This is an adventure. This is an adventure. This is an adventure…I just keep telling myself that…

    Reply
  59. We sold our house a week ago yesterday. This past week has been full of inspections and meetings and paper signing and in the midst of it all, the owners of the house we’d put a bid on jacked us around until we pulled our bid. We were not going to offer any more money or any more days and days of waiting for a response from them. So, in five weeks, we will be out of the house I thought I’d never leave, that I built on property that’s been in my family 80 years, and we have nowhere to go!
    This is an adventure. This is an adventure. This is an adventure…I just keep telling myself that…

    Reply
  60. We sold our house a week ago yesterday. This past week has been full of inspections and meetings and paper signing and in the midst of it all, the owners of the house we’d put a bid on jacked us around until we pulled our bid. We were not going to offer any more money or any more days and days of waiting for a response from them. So, in five weeks, we will be out of the house I thought I’d never leave, that I built on property that’s been in my family 80 years, and we have nowhere to go!
    This is an adventure. This is an adventure. This is an adventure…I just keep telling myself that…

    Reply
  61. I have moved 17 times in 25 years. Three of those occasions occurred whilst pregnant with my first child. We were smack in the middle of a housing crunch in metro Detroit in the 90s and it was a sellers market, which meant the seller was allowed 120 days to move out. We lived in my in laws basement and waited for both baby and house. We moved with a six week old baby. Not fun. We moved from outside the metropolis to a ring city suburb of the city of Detroit. It was the first time this country girl lived in the city, and I never got used to it. Loved our Jewish Orthodox neighbors, but there was too much concrete, too many people. I would escape to the family farm with children in tow as often as possible.
    First big move out of state was to Ohio for my attendance at divinity school. We moved en famille and while two preschoolers and father settled in my student parish rectory in Indiana, I kept the nine month old baby with me and traveled to Indiana on weekends.
    Much of the moving after that was based on my career as pastor.
    Our last move was to Canada. My second husband is a native Calgarian, which is a rare breed here. In fact, I believe there are more Texans working in the oil fields than children of my husbands generation in the province! We have lived in the same home for six years now, which in our case is a record. We live in the northern edge of Calgary where I have plenty of nature, gardening abilities and can escape to the mountains in 1.5 hours. It is a wonderful compromise for the time being. We are hopeful to make a final move to our own home outside the city in the future.

    Reply
  62. I have moved 17 times in 25 years. Three of those occasions occurred whilst pregnant with my first child. We were smack in the middle of a housing crunch in metro Detroit in the 90s and it was a sellers market, which meant the seller was allowed 120 days to move out. We lived in my in laws basement and waited for both baby and house. We moved with a six week old baby. Not fun. We moved from outside the metropolis to a ring city suburb of the city of Detroit. It was the first time this country girl lived in the city, and I never got used to it. Loved our Jewish Orthodox neighbors, but there was too much concrete, too many people. I would escape to the family farm with children in tow as often as possible.
    First big move out of state was to Ohio for my attendance at divinity school. We moved en famille and while two preschoolers and father settled in my student parish rectory in Indiana, I kept the nine month old baby with me and traveled to Indiana on weekends.
    Much of the moving after that was based on my career as pastor.
    Our last move was to Canada. My second husband is a native Calgarian, which is a rare breed here. In fact, I believe there are more Texans working in the oil fields than children of my husbands generation in the province! We have lived in the same home for six years now, which in our case is a record. We live in the northern edge of Calgary where I have plenty of nature, gardening abilities and can escape to the mountains in 1.5 hours. It is a wonderful compromise for the time being. We are hopeful to make a final move to our own home outside the city in the future.

    Reply
  63. I have moved 17 times in 25 years. Three of those occasions occurred whilst pregnant with my first child. We were smack in the middle of a housing crunch in metro Detroit in the 90s and it was a sellers market, which meant the seller was allowed 120 days to move out. We lived in my in laws basement and waited for both baby and house. We moved with a six week old baby. Not fun. We moved from outside the metropolis to a ring city suburb of the city of Detroit. It was the first time this country girl lived in the city, and I never got used to it. Loved our Jewish Orthodox neighbors, but there was too much concrete, too many people. I would escape to the family farm with children in tow as often as possible.
    First big move out of state was to Ohio for my attendance at divinity school. We moved en famille and while two preschoolers and father settled in my student parish rectory in Indiana, I kept the nine month old baby with me and traveled to Indiana on weekends.
    Much of the moving after that was based on my career as pastor.
    Our last move was to Canada. My second husband is a native Calgarian, which is a rare breed here. In fact, I believe there are more Texans working in the oil fields than children of my husbands generation in the province! We have lived in the same home for six years now, which in our case is a record. We live in the northern edge of Calgary where I have plenty of nature, gardening abilities and can escape to the mountains in 1.5 hours. It is a wonderful compromise for the time being. We are hopeful to make a final move to our own home outside the city in the future.

    Reply
  64. I have moved 17 times in 25 years. Three of those occasions occurred whilst pregnant with my first child. We were smack in the middle of a housing crunch in metro Detroit in the 90s and it was a sellers market, which meant the seller was allowed 120 days to move out. We lived in my in laws basement and waited for both baby and house. We moved with a six week old baby. Not fun. We moved from outside the metropolis to a ring city suburb of the city of Detroit. It was the first time this country girl lived in the city, and I never got used to it. Loved our Jewish Orthodox neighbors, but there was too much concrete, too many people. I would escape to the family farm with children in tow as often as possible.
    First big move out of state was to Ohio for my attendance at divinity school. We moved en famille and while two preschoolers and father settled in my student parish rectory in Indiana, I kept the nine month old baby with me and traveled to Indiana on weekends.
    Much of the moving after that was based on my career as pastor.
    Our last move was to Canada. My second husband is a native Calgarian, which is a rare breed here. In fact, I believe there are more Texans working in the oil fields than children of my husbands generation in the province! We have lived in the same home for six years now, which in our case is a record. We live in the northern edge of Calgary where I have plenty of nature, gardening abilities and can escape to the mountains in 1.5 hours. It is a wonderful compromise for the time being. We are hopeful to make a final move to our own home outside the city in the future.

    Reply
  65. I have moved 17 times in 25 years. Three of those occasions occurred whilst pregnant with my first child. We were smack in the middle of a housing crunch in metro Detroit in the 90s and it was a sellers market, which meant the seller was allowed 120 days to move out. We lived in my in laws basement and waited for both baby and house. We moved with a six week old baby. Not fun. We moved from outside the metropolis to a ring city suburb of the city of Detroit. It was the first time this country girl lived in the city, and I never got used to it. Loved our Jewish Orthodox neighbors, but there was too much concrete, too many people. I would escape to the family farm with children in tow as often as possible.
    First big move out of state was to Ohio for my attendance at divinity school. We moved en famille and while two preschoolers and father settled in my student parish rectory in Indiana, I kept the nine month old baby with me and traveled to Indiana on weekends.
    Much of the moving after that was based on my career as pastor.
    Our last move was to Canada. My second husband is a native Calgarian, which is a rare breed here. In fact, I believe there are more Texans working in the oil fields than children of my husbands generation in the province! We have lived in the same home for six years now, which in our case is a record. We live in the northern edge of Calgary where I have plenty of nature, gardening abilities and can escape to the mountains in 1.5 hours. It is a wonderful compromise for the time being. We are hopeful to make a final move to our own home outside the city in the future.

    Reply

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