Deportment at a Hotel

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Susanna here, packing today for more travel—this time to New York, for BookExpo America—so I thought it might be time to consult Miss Leslie’s Behaviour Book, to see what advice America’s go-to etiquette expert of the mid-nineteenth century offered young ladies for such situations.

Eliza Leslie  1844  by Thomas Sully

Eliza Leslie, 1844, by Thomas Sully

As always, Miss Eliza Leslie has a chapter tailored to my needs: DEPORTMENT AT A HOTEL, OR AT A LARGE BOARDING-HOUSE.

Perfect. I’ll be staying at a hotel. This chapter is exactly what I need.

Miss Leslie begins by explaining her reasons for tackling this angle of etiquette:

“Now that there is so much travelling in the summer, (and indeed at all seasons,) and so much living in public, to save the trouble and the expense of keeping house in private, it may be well to offer some hints on the propriety of manners that ought to be observed in places where you are always exposed to the inspection and to the remarks of strangers.”

All right, then. I’m ready to better my manners, my pen poised and ready to write down these gems of advice on propriety…


“Ladies no longer eat salt-fish at a public table.”

Um…okay. Duly noted.

“It is ungenteel to go to the breakfast-table in any costume approaching to full dress. There must be no flowers or ribbons in the hair.”

Susanna wearing a T shirt

The Writer In Her Natural State

Now, see, this is more up my alley, as, being a writer, I rarely appear at the breakfast table (or anywhere else, except book signings) in any costume remotely “approaching to full dress”. Yoga pants and T-shirts, yes. Jeans and slouchy pullovers, yes. Full dress, next to never. So, Miss Leslie would approve.

But books like Miss Leslie’s are also, for people like me, a rich source of material when we are writing our novels and stories. Even though I don’t write in her period, I still take great pleasure in reading her detailed description of what a proper lady ought to wear to breakfast, picturing in my own mind how I’d turn that to a costume for a character, if I wrote an American Victorian romance where my young heroine was eating breakfast in a hotel (or at a large boarding-house):

“A morning cap should be as simple as possible. The most genteel morning-dress is a close gown of some plain material, with long sleeves, which in summer may be white muslin. A merino or cashmere wrapper, (grey, brown, purple, or olive,) faced or trimmed with other merino of an entirely different colour, such as crimson, scarlet, green, or blue, is a becoming morning-dress for winter. In summer, a white cambric-muslin morning-robe is the handsomest breakfast attire, but one of gingham or printed muslin the most convenient. The coloured dress may be made open in front, with short loose sleeves and a pointed body. Beneath it a white under-dress, having a chemisette front down to the belt, and long white sleeves down to the wrist. This forms a very graceful morning costume, the white skirt appearing where the coloured skirt opens.”

Ryumina_P._N. _1847_by_Sokolov_P

Woman in a White Muslin dress, 1847, by PF Sokolov

Mind you, Miss Leslie warns, “The fashion of wearing black silk mittens is now obsolete. It was always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.”

In the public parlour, I am to be especially careful around the hotel’s piano, as “it is selfish an unmannerly to sit down to the instrument uninvited, and fall to playing or practising, without seeming to consider the probability of your interrupting or annoying the rest of the company, particularly when you see them all engaged in reading or conversation. If you want amuseument, you had better read…”

“If you have no book, you can ring the bell, and send to the reading-room to borrow a file of newspapers; but in most hotels, there are books belonging to the establishment, lying on a table in the ladies’ parlour. Be sure not to carry any of these books upstairs, as they are intended solely for the drawing-room, and their removal from thence is interdicted. Also, never carry away the Directory, the Atlas, the City Guide, or any other book placed there for the convenience of strangers.”

And there you have it: No salt fish. No ribbons in the hair. Definitely NO black silk mittens, and no practising of the piano.

Only comfortable, breezy, simple, informal dress, and plenty of glorious reading.

Which sounds like advice I can easily take.

What’s your best bit of travel advice, for staying in hotels (or boarding-houses?)

80 thoughts on “Deportment at a Hotel”

  1. Request a room well away from the lift lobby. You have to walk further, but you’re less likely to be woken at 1am by a company of opera singers who’ve had one too many post-performance drinks in the green room

    Reply
  2. Request a room well away from the lift lobby. You have to walk further, but you’re less likely to be woken at 1am by a company of opera singers who’ve had one too many post-performance drinks in the green room

    Reply
  3. Request a room well away from the lift lobby. You have to walk further, but you’re less likely to be woken at 1am by a company of opera singers who’ve had one too many post-performance drinks in the green room

    Reply
  4. Request a room well away from the lift lobby. You have to walk further, but you’re less likely to be woken at 1am by a company of opera singers who’ve had one too many post-performance drinks in the green room

    Reply
  5. Request a room well away from the lift lobby. You have to walk further, but you’re less likely to be woken at 1am by a company of opera singers who’ve had one too many post-performance drinks in the green room

    Reply
  6. And don’t forget to pay your bill/tariff if you wish to return another day.
    Safe and happy travels, Susanna; enjoy your time at BookExpo.

    Reply
  7. And don’t forget to pay your bill/tariff if you wish to return another day.
    Safe and happy travels, Susanna; enjoy your time at BookExpo.

    Reply
  8. And don’t forget to pay your bill/tariff if you wish to return another day.
    Safe and happy travels, Susanna; enjoy your time at BookExpo.

    Reply
  9. And don’t forget to pay your bill/tariff if you wish to return another day.
    Safe and happy travels, Susanna; enjoy your time at BookExpo.

    Reply
  10. And don’t forget to pay your bill/tariff if you wish to return another day.
    Safe and happy travels, Susanna; enjoy your time at BookExpo.

    Reply
  11. I have to say that is good advice for a trip and a stay in a hotel 🙂
    If I am travelling to stay a t hotel I want to enjoy myself so I would smile relax and think of the other guests as I would hope that they would think of me
    Enjoy our trip
    have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  12. I have to say that is good advice for a trip and a stay in a hotel 🙂
    If I am travelling to stay a t hotel I want to enjoy myself so I would smile relax and think of the other guests as I would hope that they would think of me
    Enjoy our trip
    have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  13. I have to say that is good advice for a trip and a stay in a hotel 🙂
    If I am travelling to stay a t hotel I want to enjoy myself so I would smile relax and think of the other guests as I would hope that they would think of me
    Enjoy our trip
    have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  14. I have to say that is good advice for a trip and a stay in a hotel 🙂
    If I am travelling to stay a t hotel I want to enjoy myself so I would smile relax and think of the other guests as I would hope that they would think of me
    Enjoy our trip
    have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  15. I have to say that is good advice for a trip and a stay in a hotel 🙂
    If I am travelling to stay a t hotel I want to enjoy myself so I would smile relax and think of the other guests as I would hope that they would think of me
    Enjoy our trip
    have Fun
    Helen

    Reply
  16. If you are going to a Science Fiction convention DO NOT stay on the floor with the room parties unless you plan to either hold one or visit several. They continue into the wee small hours.
    If near an airport try not to be on the floor used for those who are connected with the flights. The people are usually quiet enough, but their hours fail to fit the hours of the rest of the world.
    Actually — since my deafness neither of these “problems” bother me at all.

    Reply
  17. If you are going to a Science Fiction convention DO NOT stay on the floor with the room parties unless you plan to either hold one or visit several. They continue into the wee small hours.
    If near an airport try not to be on the floor used for those who are connected with the flights. The people are usually quiet enough, but their hours fail to fit the hours of the rest of the world.
    Actually — since my deafness neither of these “problems” bother me at all.

    Reply
  18. If you are going to a Science Fiction convention DO NOT stay on the floor with the room parties unless you plan to either hold one or visit several. They continue into the wee small hours.
    If near an airport try not to be on the floor used for those who are connected with the flights. The people are usually quiet enough, but their hours fail to fit the hours of the rest of the world.
    Actually — since my deafness neither of these “problems” bother me at all.

    Reply
  19. If you are going to a Science Fiction convention DO NOT stay on the floor with the room parties unless you plan to either hold one or visit several. They continue into the wee small hours.
    If near an airport try not to be on the floor used for those who are connected with the flights. The people are usually quiet enough, but their hours fail to fit the hours of the rest of the world.
    Actually — since my deafness neither of these “problems” bother me at all.

    Reply
  20. If you are going to a Science Fiction convention DO NOT stay on the floor with the room parties unless you plan to either hold one or visit several. They continue into the wee small hours.
    If near an airport try not to be on the floor used for those who are connected with the flights. The people are usually quiet enough, but their hours fail to fit the hours of the rest of the world.
    Actually — since my deafness neither of these “problems” bother me at all.

    Reply
  21. I love this advice. The black silk mittens “were (was) always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.” I find this makes me grin. Methinks silk mittens are always going to be a pain in the neck. LOL My hotel advice…try and have a room away from the elevators. People do very loud things in there and they make clunky noises in the night. Check before staying at a touristy hotel to be sure what associated celebrations are going on. Randomly picked a historical hotel once. Got a room that faced the street on the second floor. That night they closed the street and had a historical (Western) dance with associated food and beverages and a saloon fight. It went on for HOURS. No sleeping for us.

    Reply
  22. I love this advice. The black silk mittens “were (was) always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.” I find this makes me grin. Methinks silk mittens are always going to be a pain in the neck. LOL My hotel advice…try and have a room away from the elevators. People do very loud things in there and they make clunky noises in the night. Check before staying at a touristy hotel to be sure what associated celebrations are going on. Randomly picked a historical hotel once. Got a room that faced the street on the second floor. That night they closed the street and had a historical (Western) dance with associated food and beverages and a saloon fight. It went on for HOURS. No sleeping for us.

    Reply
  23. I love this advice. The black silk mittens “were (was) always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.” I find this makes me grin. Methinks silk mittens are always going to be a pain in the neck. LOL My hotel advice…try and have a room away from the elevators. People do very loud things in there and they make clunky noises in the night. Check before staying at a touristy hotel to be sure what associated celebrations are going on. Randomly picked a historical hotel once. Got a room that faced the street on the second floor. That night they closed the street and had a historical (Western) dance with associated food and beverages and a saloon fight. It went on for HOURS. No sleeping for us.

    Reply
  24. I love this advice. The black silk mittens “were (was) always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.” I find this makes me grin. Methinks silk mittens are always going to be a pain in the neck. LOL My hotel advice…try and have a room away from the elevators. People do very loud things in there and they make clunky noises in the night. Check before staying at a touristy hotel to be sure what associated celebrations are going on. Randomly picked a historical hotel once. Got a room that faced the street on the second floor. That night they closed the street and had a historical (Western) dance with associated food and beverages and a saloon fight. It went on for HOURS. No sleeping for us.

    Reply
  25. I love this advice. The black silk mittens “were (was) always inconvenient, and neither useful nor ornamental.” I find this makes me grin. Methinks silk mittens are always going to be a pain in the neck. LOL My hotel advice…try and have a room away from the elevators. People do very loud things in there and they make clunky noises in the night. Check before staying at a touristy hotel to be sure what associated celebrations are going on. Randomly picked a historical hotel once. Got a room that faced the street on the second floor. That night they closed the street and had a historical (Western) dance with associated food and beverages and a saloon fight. It went on for HOURS. No sleeping for us.

    Reply
  26. All the good tips have been given, except try to avoid being near the ice machine. People apparently want to cool down at very odd hours.
    I have never packed my silk mittens, so that tip works well for me. I do not like salt fish for breakfast (in reality not sure what that is).
    And my plain caps are all in the laundry every time I travel.
    Thanks for this post. I loved it.

    Reply
  27. All the good tips have been given, except try to avoid being near the ice machine. People apparently want to cool down at very odd hours.
    I have never packed my silk mittens, so that tip works well for me. I do not like salt fish for breakfast (in reality not sure what that is).
    And my plain caps are all in the laundry every time I travel.
    Thanks for this post. I loved it.

    Reply
  28. All the good tips have been given, except try to avoid being near the ice machine. People apparently want to cool down at very odd hours.
    I have never packed my silk mittens, so that tip works well for me. I do not like salt fish for breakfast (in reality not sure what that is).
    And my plain caps are all in the laundry every time I travel.
    Thanks for this post. I loved it.

    Reply
  29. All the good tips have been given, except try to avoid being near the ice machine. People apparently want to cool down at very odd hours.
    I have never packed my silk mittens, so that tip works well for me. I do not like salt fish for breakfast (in reality not sure what that is).
    And my plain caps are all in the laundry every time I travel.
    Thanks for this post. I loved it.

    Reply
  30. All the good tips have been given, except try to avoid being near the ice machine. People apparently want to cool down at very odd hours.
    I have never packed my silk mittens, so that tip works well for me. I do not like salt fish for breakfast (in reality not sure what that is).
    And my plain caps are all in the laundry every time I travel.
    Thanks for this post. I loved it.

    Reply
  31. Oh, dear. Have you been serenaded by inebriated opera singers? I suppose theyd be better than untrained inebriated singers, but to be on the safe side Ill heed your advice and get a room well away from the lifts…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  32. Oh, dear. Have you been serenaded by inebriated opera singers? I suppose theyd be better than untrained inebriated singers, but to be on the safe side Ill heed your advice and get a room well away from the lifts…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  33. Oh, dear. Have you been serenaded by inebriated opera singers? I suppose theyd be better than untrained inebriated singers, but to be on the safe side Ill heed your advice and get a room well away from the lifts…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  34. Oh, dear. Have you been serenaded by inebriated opera singers? I suppose theyd be better than untrained inebriated singers, but to be on the safe side Ill heed your advice and get a room well away from the lifts…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  35. Oh, dear. Have you been serenaded by inebriated opera singers? I suppose theyd be better than untrained inebriated singers, but to be on the safe side Ill heed your advice and get a room well away from the lifts…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  36. The all-night western dance would have been bad enough–but a saloon fight?!? Poor you. There are definitely advantages, sometimes, to having a quiet courtyard view…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  37. The all-night western dance would have been bad enough–but a saloon fight?!? Poor you. There are definitely advantages, sometimes, to having a quiet courtyard view…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  38. The all-night western dance would have been bad enough–but a saloon fight?!? Poor you. There are definitely advantages, sometimes, to having a quiet courtyard view…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  39. The all-night western dance would have been bad enough–but a saloon fight?!? Poor you. There are definitely advantages, sometimes, to having a quiet courtyard view…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply
  40. The all-night western dance would have been bad enough–but a saloon fight?!? Poor you. There are definitely advantages, sometimes, to having a quiet courtyard view…
    Sent from my iPhone

    Reply

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